A Thousand Pictures Are Worth Three Words
by Rising Lorn
Summary: Naruto finds the contents of Hinata's camera to be a bit shocking. Can he return the great love Hinata gives him? And then there's the rest of the crap in his daily life... Chapter 12 up, Lemons inside. Completed.
1. Insert Title Here

Author's Note: Well, I guess I'll feed my NaruHina fandom with this story here. I don't really intend lemons (at least not within the first four chapters or so) but I'm pretty sure I'll end up dreaming one up…Eheh. Typical disclaimers apply. I apologize for any outrageous OOC-ness, but I'm not overtly trying for it. Ok, lets get on with this.

For reference, this takes place after the time-skip, just as Naruto is returning to the village, and then skips around with time and such. I'll probably forget to note the time, so if you get confused…sorry. Heh.

Chapter 1: "Insert Title Here" 

Naruto stood atop the pole in Konoha, happy to be back. He looked out at the town contentedly, "Ah, its just how it was when I left…except…a-ha!" He noted that Tsunade's face had joined the other Hokage on the cliff face, "Granny Tsunade's been added!"

"Naruto!" yelled a familiar voice below.

Naruto looked down; it was Sakura. He jumped down before the pink haired kunoichi. "Sakura-chan, it's nice to see you again," he grinned.

"Same here," she said happily. She paused and then added, "You've grown."

"Yeah! I'm no longer a little squirt, huh?" he replied excitedly.

"Well, everyone's grown since you've been gone, so you may still be little," she teased and then giggled to see his defensive reaction.

"W-well, big deal! I'm a load stronger now! Who cares about height anyhow!?" he proclaimed.

"Well," she said, still giggling, "You apparently, you were the one that brought it up. But, yeah, everyone's grown. Shikamaru, Chouji (that was expected though), Tenten, Neji and _Hinata_." She had emphasized the last name with a sort of singsong tone.

Naruto was non-plussed, "I'm sure they've all grown." He looked out at an approaching figure who's head resembled a pineapple in some ways; he decided he'd ask now before he was interrupted, but something kept nagging him in the back of his mind, "You wanna go out later tonight?" As he finished the question, something in the back of his head told him, 'You don't want to go though.'

"No, sorry Naruto, I don't," she said simply, "I think you really should just give up on me. There are some other _cute_ girls you could look into…"

"Oh, good, because I really didn't want to go out with you anyway. Heh, makes me wonder why I asked," he said without thinking.

Sakura chuckled with an edge in her voice; helping Hinata or not, she wasn't going to stand for such an insult, "Yeah, that's funny because…" SMACK. "I was wondering why you did too!"

Naruto flew of towards pineapple head, yelling, "Banzai!" all the while. He crashed into the figure that said as they went down, "I come to see him and this happens. How troublesome."

Naruto recognized the voice. "Shikamaru! What's up!?" he asked happily.

"Not much. Your ass is uncomfortably close to my face though. And if this wasn't _such_ a _wonderful_ position, I'd just stare at it all day," he said as sarcastically as possible.

Naruto apologized and got up. He helped Shikamaru up too and they both turned to Sakura, who was running up to the two. Sakura had cooled down and looked at Shikamaru, "Sorry about that."

"Oh, no problem. I love having bodies launched at me at high speeds," said Shikamaru. He turned to Naruto and said, "Long time no see. Thought I'd have preferred to have greeted you and not your ass first."

Naruto laughed. "Sorry about that. Blame Sakura," he said.

"Blame your own stupidity," said Sakura, half-annoyed, half-amused.

Just then, Temari joined them, "Oh, you're back. And I'd use 'density' Sakura." She greeted Naruto and then turned to Shikamaru and said, "Come on, you greeted him, we've got to get back."

"You guys on a date?" asked Naruto slyly.

"No, we're not," said Temari, perhaps a bit too quickly and bit to edgily. Sakura smirked slightly. Temari blushed softly, "Everyone keeps asking that."

"Presiding over the Chuunin exams troublesome enough; stop making things more complicated," complained Shikamaru, blushing very slightly.

"Ah, you're monitoring them?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah. It's troublesome but I'm a Jonin," said Shikamaru unenthusiastically.

"Ah…congrats," said Naruto, a bit sadly. When he inquired about Gaara and found he was made Kazekage, he said simply, "I'm glad". His smile was sad but happy.

"Everyone's a Chuunin now, Naruto, so I'd suppose that you should get the shock and sadness in and out of your system quickly," said Shikamaru.

Naruto fell onto all fours, moping. "I'm the only Genin out of my friends…" he said unhappily.

"Cheer up, Naruto," said Sakura sympathetically, "Let's go see Kakashi."

Naruto perked up, "Ah! Yeah! I've got something to give him!" He got up and grabbed Sakura by the arm, dragging her toward the Hokage's office, believing Kakashi to be there.

"Didn't even say good-bye," said Shikamaru, half-dejected, half-amused. He turned and looked at Temari who was looking away. She turned to look at him suddenly, expecting him to still be watching the two to find herself staring directly into his eyes. They both blushed softly. "That bastard's always insinuating something," said Shikamaru awkwardly. Temari said nothing and simply followed him as he walked back to his post.

Off behind a distant building, a figure was peeking around a corner, watching the Genin bound happily to the Hokage's office.

----

"Naruto, its great to see you," said Tsunade happily.

"Nice to see you too Granny Tsunade!" said Naruto.

"That the only person you're happy to see, Naruto," said a voice just outside the window.

"Kakashi-sensei!" said Naruto, bounding towards the window to greet his teacher.

"How've you been?" asked Kakashi happily over Icha Icha Paradise.

"Great! I've got something for you!" said Naruto, reaching into his pouch and extracting a book.

"Oh!!! It can't be! It can't be!" said Kakashi excitedly and extending trembling hands, "The latest in the Icha Icha series…and it hasn't even been released!!!!"

Naruto grinned happily at his sensei's reaction.

"Ah, Naruto and Sakura," said Tsunade, "Kakashi has something to tell you two."

"Right!" said Kakashi, jumping into the office, "We've got some training to do! I want to see how you guys have progressed."

Naruto and Sakura stared at him, half-shocked, half-apprehensive.

---

Naruto was returning to his apartment, tired but content in succeeding in procuring a bell from Kakashi. As he was walking he heard a strange click; it sounded like a camera shutter. He looked around quickly. What could have made that noise? He walked soundlessly towards where he heard the click and called out, "Uh, hello? Someone there?" When no reply came, he shrugged and continued home, a bit quicker now and using the rooftops as a means to get there. He suddenly felt that he was being followed. He stopped and turned around. Still nothing. He continued forward again, moving much faster and making sudden changes in direction. He picked up speed and stopped at his front door suddenly. He heard nothing. "Guess it was just my imagination," he said relieved. Suddenly he heard a noise.

"Aaaaaaaaagh!" came another familiar voice. CRASH. Naruto felt himself being launched through his front door and hit the floor hard. Stars twinkling before his eyes he stared down at the mass that lay upon him.

"H-Hinata-chan?" he asked tentatively. 'Why did I use –chan?' he thought to himself immediately afterwards. He prodded her head softly.

Hinata hoped if she lay still long enough, Naruto would assume that she had passed out from the impact. When her felt him poking her in the head, she began to blush much more strongly than she already was. She became aware of how warm Naruto was and how his heartbeat was slowly changing from the violent tattoo against his chest to a soft and steady rhythm. It comforted her and she felt drowsy suddenly. 'Ah! I have to stay awake,' she thought to herself, 'I can't fall asleep!' She shook herself physically to ward off sleep, alerting Naruto that she was indeed ok.

"Hinata-chan," he said. 'I said –chan again?' he thought. "Are you ok?" asked Naruto once more, prodding her head again.

Hinata steeled her will and looked up at him; his face was inches from hers. She couldn't take it and fainted.

Outside, a certain pink haired ninja was watching the scene. She turned around and jumped off into the night, smiling to herself and muttering, "Perfect."

---

Hinata awoke to find a warm mass enshrouding her; she felt unbelievably comfortable and almost fell back asleep. A familiar smell greeted her nose; she had smelled it just last night. She opened her eyes and found Naruto's jacket covering her. She sat up suddenly and realized she was on his bed. "Oh…oh my…what…what happened?" she said to herself, blushing and feeling terrified at once. Memories of last night flooded into her all at once and she slumped backwards, her face in her hands, thrashing about. 'I can't believe I did that,' she thought frantically, 'Just for a stupid photo!' She got up and decided she had best explain herself to Naruto; hopefully, he didn't hate her. She didn't realize how far from the truth this idea was.

---

Naruto was in the kitchen, looking through the photos on the camera (it was digital). 'Odd,' he thought to himself, 'Apart from a few of her teammates and her family, all these pictures are…are pictures of me.' Indeed they were, pictures of Naruto from a few years ago and from yesterday. They numbered, strangely only in the tens. He noticed that none of them were from good vantage points; they were all distant and removed. 'If she wanted to take my picture, she could have asked,' he thought, 'I wouldn't mind.' He found himself suddenly the action with fondness. 'Why did I do that? And speaking of weird things, why'd I call her -chan?' he contemplated silently. 'Wait. Wait…Hinata always blushes when she sees me, she usually faints afterwards or if I touch her or get unnaturally close, like yesterday…Where have I seen that behavior before?' Naruto's mind was racing; he racked his brains for that familiar memory… "Ahah!" he suddenly said aloud, "Ero-sannin! He wrote about a girl who was in love with this guy that always acted like-" Naruto cut himself off suddenly. A strange feeling filled him, a feeling like he was eating his last, most delicious bowl of ramen ever; a feeling that mixed filling joy with empty sadness. He felt unusual, like he had been presented with something he had never really had. "Hi-Hinata-chan…loves…me?" he said finally, "What does that mean? I mean…no one's ever loved me…at least not like that."

Hinata stood in the doorway and made a motion to walk towards him; she would just have to confirm everything he just said and hope he didn't hate her. But as she began to walk, Naruto suddenly burst out,

"What do I do!? I mean…if she really does love, I think I might just be happy…but…how can I love her and not screw up?! What if…what if I do something to make her hate me!? I've had crushes but I didn't know anyone could possibly like me! And then there's the Kyuubi! What if she found out!? Argh!" He slammed his fist on the table.

Hinata walked over silently and put her arms around Naruto from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. Naruto jerked up slightly. "She'd say that she begs to differ," whispered Hinata, blushing furiously. She tilted her head against his. Naruto's mouth fell open slightly in surprise. For a moment he did nothing, but then he returned the motion.

"Thanks, Hinata-chan."


	2. Picture Perfect

Author's Note: I'm glad about the fact that I got 160 hits in just one day; very impressive and I'm very happy you guys liked the story. To the three reviewers (at this time) thank you. To those who didn't review, please do! I'm always open to some constructive comments. Typical disclaimers are offered up again, as usual, and now, the story.

**Chapter Two: Picture Perfect**

Naruto did not know how long he sat there, Hinata's face pressed against his, the world still and unchanging for that minute, or hour, or star-crossed month; all that mattered to him is that she was at his side and he was at hers. For a while longer he said nothing then finally spoke, turning his head slightly and spoke softly, a gentle caress and innocent curiosity in his voice, "Hinata, if…if you loved me, why didn't you tell me?"

Hinata said nothing for a long while, she knew the answer, but she just wasn't sure what kept her from delivering it; at last she spoke, whispering, "I thought you'd hate me. I thought you'd think I was weird for loving you at such a young age. Even now, I feel like…"

Naruto stood up, turned around and put his hands on Hinata's shoulders. Looking her in the eye and smiling he said, "And I just finished thinking that I'd do something wrong to make you hate me and that I'd be awkward and stuff, didn't I? And what did you say? You shot my self-doubts to hell!"

Hinata giggled; he was right after all. Perhaps her fear was just her being silly. "I guess you're right, Naruto-kun. But, um, what should we do now?"

"Well, first and foremost, I say we go on a date," replied Naruto happily. But suddenly, shadow crossed over his face, "But, you have to explain to your dad what happened…and I probably do too. I doubt he'd want you dating someone like me who lives…well, here." He waved his arms in a sort of pathetic gesture to his surroundings. "He'd never let you date me, especially with the Kyuubi in me," he said sadly and pathetically. The happiness of the prospect of Hinata in his future suddenly was ebbing away, her radiant image replaced by the coldness of Hiashi Hyuuga.

Naruto suddenly felt a soft sensation on his forehead; Hinata had kissed it (she had to stand on tiptoe to do so). She pulled back, blushing and said softly, "Things will be fine."

Naruto shook his head, blushing as well and laughed softly and then said, "Such blind optimism. Alright, if you think so; lets go tell him what we intend to do."

---

Hiashi considered the two that were kneeling before him; he reached over and picked up his cup of tea. Sipping it, almost absentmindedly he looked up at the ceiling. 'Well, it isn't like I wasn't entirely taken by surprise by this turn of events. She does indeed like him. But the Kyuubi, his birth, his reputation, _him_ in general. They are …so different from the kind of suitor I expected.' Perhaps Naruto was indeed a rather large departure from tradition. Orphaned, a Jinchuuriki, a troublemaker, not a particularly outstanding ninja, at least, in the usual sense. Yes, this was indeed something to be considered well. 'Ah,' thought Hiashi suddenly, 'But then again, he is a determined fellow, all those failures at the academy and he still kept going for it. His unconventional methods and techniques actually worked, his dream of becoming Hokage is known very well by most, if not all of the village.' Hiashi chuckled softly, startling the two before him. He chuckled a little more at this reaction and continued his thoughts, 'He beat Neji! Neji had surpassed most of the main house in ability and Naruto beat him with unconventional strategy and determination. And chakra…that chakra…it was immense and insane; a sinister force used…yet not to do evil, simply to beat an opponent in an examination.' Of course, Naruto had also beaten some sense into Neji.

Hiashi at last spoke, his tone neutral, but his eyes with…the slightest softness, "I do not approve…"

Hinata opened her mouth in response to this reply, but was cut short suddenly when Hiashi resumed his sentence.

"I do not approve," he continued, "Whole-heartedly." He sat in silence a moment longer. "Naruto, you are an…unusual ninja and boy. The little I know of you is split so cleanly between good and bad that I simply cannot make an honest judgment. As such, I allow you to date my daughter."

Naruto's face lit up so quickly he looked like a searchlight. "Than-" he began, but was cut short.

"But! If I find you've done something to harm my daughter," said Hiashi in a dangerous tone, "Woe betide you when the news reaches me."

The searchlight that was Naruto's face dimmed to about a simple room bulb. "Thank…thank you," he said awkwardly, inclining his head. He looked up at Hinata and beamed and then smiled politely at Hiashi.

"With that matter set, you may leave," said Hiashi, smiling very softly.

The two got up and bowed and left the room. Hiashi laughed softly when he saw they were well out of earshot, but did not notice Neji walking by. "Kids these days," he said, "Like she would have listened had I forbade her."

Neji opened the sliding door a bit and popped his head into the room. "Forbade whom," he asked, "If you don't mind me inquiring."

"Hinata. She and Naruto came were in here just now. He was asking for permission to date her," said Hiashi simply.

Neji nodded neutrally and shut the door. He walked off, but as he did his face darkened. "If he tries anything funny," he muttered, but the rest was lost under his breath.

---

The date went well enough thought Naruto and Hinata. The had walked around the village and in the surrounding woods, taking in different scenery, not doing anything in particular, just enjoying each others company. The two were sitting at the moment in a tree just outside the main entrance gate to the village; not many people went in or out, so they were more or less undisturbed. Naruto was enjoying just having Hinata between his legs as she reclined on his chest. He put his head on her shoulder and blew at her hair.

Hinata did not seem to notice; she, not Naruto was the one having rather dirty thoughts as to what they could be doing in this tree. 'Ah…but…I've never kissed anyone just plainly on the lips let alone shoved my tongue halfway down their throat,' she thought, steadily blushing a deeper and deeper red. Another thought suddenly hit her, 'W-what…what does he taste like? What do kisses in general taste like? It just someone else's lips…or tongue…so I guess it'd taste like whatever they eat…right? Ah! Ramen! He'd taste like…ramen?!' She jumped suddenly when he felt something poke her side. It was Naruto's finger.

"Hey, Hinata," he said a little sheepishly, "I love being up in this tree with you, but I'm getting kind of hungry. Wanna go grab some ramen at Ichiraku?"

Hinata felt herself almost faint. When she swayed forward suddenly Naruto reacted on instinct and wrapped his arms around her chest. "Hinata!? Are you ok?" he asked her loudly. He took sudden notice of a delightful softness in his hands. 'Oh god…wait, no!' he thought frantically. It was too late.

"I'm fine Naruto-ku…" Hinata began, but became aware of an enjoyable pressure on her breasts. They were Naruto's hands.

Hinata fainted promptly.

---

'What's this smell? Ah, it's that smell from this morning. It's Naruto…' thought Hinata dreamily, 'And that soft beating…it's his heart. So…soothing…" Hinata drifted back to sleep.

Naruto was carrying Hinata, bridal style so it didn't appear as if he hit her on the head and was off to have his way with her and stepped into Ichiraku ramen. He ordered two bowls and whispered down to Hinata, "Um, Hinata, we're here, you can wake up now."

Hinata's eyes fluttered open. She became aware of Naruto's arms under her back and legs. "Ah!" she said, struggling to get up and falling out of his hands on to the floor in the process. "I'm sorry for burdening you!" she apologized as she got up.

Naruto sweat-dropped and said, "It's…it's ok. I wouldn't have been carrying you if I hadn't…well…up…you see, I…kinda…mmbl…" He blushed darkly.

Hinata remembered suddenly and blushed as dark as he did. "I-it's ok," she began awkwardly, "I was just having…odd thoughts and I almost fell out and…" She stopped her sentence.

"Two bowls of ramen!" yelled the shopkeeper, placing them on the counter in front of him. The two sat down and ate in the awkward air. It dissipated soon thereafter, however and by the end of the meal, the two had forgotten it. After a short, awkward fight on who would pay (neither of them won and the bill was split) they set off for Naruto's house.

Naruto started up a conversation on the photos Hinata had taken. "They're good," he said, "I didn't know you liked taking photos."

"Yes, I do," replied Hinata with a slight tone of embarrassment, "But I'm still an amateur…and…well, I was hoping we could take one…together." She said this last part very fast. She half-hoped he hadn't heard.

"Of course! It _is_ our first date! Why would I say no?" he said, correctly guessing why she had said it with such speed.

Hinata took out her camera, but then asked, "Really?" What happened next didn't register until halfway through. She felt the camera being pulled out of her hands, something soft and ramen-tasting being pressed against her lips (her eyes widened) and a flash and click.

Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, blushing a bit and holding the camera. " I said I wanted to, didn't I?" in a teasing tone. "Look!" he said, holding up the camera to show the picture he had just taken, revealing a side shot of a blushing Naruto kissing a surprised Hinata, "Like it?"

Hinata looked down at the ground and nodded. She stood there silently for a moment. Naruto felt slightly off-put; had he acted a bit too rashly? Her body seemed to quiver for a moment, but then she suddenly sprang forward, her arms open and wrapped him in a tight embrace, kissing him full on the mouth. Naruto returned the gesture happily after a moments surprise, embracing her with equal enthusiasm. Another year-long second passed and they both pulled away slightly, still holding one another.

"Hinata, um, would you like to be my girlfriend?" asked Naruto. The question sounded as stupid to him out loud as it had in his head; as it had since the beginning of the date.

Another kiss was Hinata's reply.


	3. Candid Camera

Author's Note: I'm glad my story is being supported. Reviews are a bit low. Guess there isn't much to improve on then? Heh. Typical disclaimers are in play, of course.

**Chapter Three: Candid Camera**

Naruto awoke the next morning in a strange daze. Last night had seemed too good, too perfect; it was all ethereal and distant. He absentmindedly touched his lips, and that seemed to bring him to the realization that Hinata was indeed, his girlfriend. He stretched and got out of bed, yawning.

"Wonder what I should do today?" he wondered aloud. Seeing Hinata seemed like the obvious answer, but do what? His question would be answered in the form of a pink haired kunoichi knocking at his door. Naruto mumbled that he'd be there in a moment and got dressed. His bedtime hat, however, was still on. It seemed age didn't deter him from wearing it.

Opening the door, he said sleepily, "Mmm, yes?" He rubbed his eyes and noticed that it was Sakura. "Oh! Sakura-chan! What're you doing here so early?"

Sakura smiled in a very knowing sort of way, "We've got a mission from Tsunade. But why are you so sleeping, _hmm_?" The glint in her eye was blinding.

Naruto, as was typical, didn't catch on. "Uh, nothing. I was out a bit late," he said casually. He didn't know where Sakura was going with this; he _had_ gone on a date, but why would that matter?

"Really? Nothing…extraordinary happen?" she asked. Her tone was unbearable.

"I went on a date with Hinata, if that's why you keep asking," said Naruto with a somewhat annoyed look on his face.

Sakura smiled. "Great! My plan worked!" she cried happily, "Not that I didn't know of course!" She held up some pictures, grinning broadly. All of them were of the date from the night before, including the rather long kiss Naruto and Hinata shared. Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Where the hell did you get those, damn it?!?" he asked furiously.

Sakura laughed at his reaction, "I took them, of course, you idiot."

"You better not show anyone!" he fumed.

"Aw, you guys make a cute couple, what does it matter if I showed Ino, Temari, Tenten, Lee, Chouji, and Shikamaru?" she said, teasing him.

"Wait, just a second. You told all of them that? What else did you tell them!?" asked Naruto in a panic.

"Oh, that I set it up. When you left, Hinata was really bummed out, so I decided pull a string to make her feel better, my own," explained Sakura. She motioned towards the Hokage's office; Naruto understood and the two set off. "I decided I'd just remove myself, so you'd look for someone else, that someone being Hinata," said Sakura as she continued her explanation, "I wanted to help her tell you that she liked you, but it seems, from what she says, that her clumsiness is what helped really."

"So you played match-maker," said Naruto, his eyes half-closed in disbelief.

"Exactly!" said Sakura happily, "So I stalked you guys for a while and got some good pictures."

"That's kinda creepy, Sakura-chan," said Naruto uneasily.

"But you're soooo cute together!" she said happily.

"Uh, I'm glad you think so," replied Naruto, sweat-dropping.

---

"Well, you two are the first one's here," said the Fifth, "We're still awaiting your teammates for this mission."

"What're we doing Granny Tsunade?" asked Naruto.

"I'll explain when everyone gets here," replied Tsunade as a knock was heard on the door. "Come in," she said.

It was Hinata, she blushed softly at the sight of Naruto and walked into the office; Naruto ran up to her and threw his arms around her. She responded after a slight shock and kissed him on the cheek, "H-hi, Naruto-kun."

"Sleep good, Hina-" began Naruto, but heard a low rumble from the doorway. He looked over and noticed Shino and Kiba were there. Shino didn't seem…well he never seemed in anyway emotional, but Kiba seemed more than a little pissed off.

"What're you doing to our teammate?" asked Kiba, his voice a low growl.

Naruto replied uneasily, "H-hugging her?"

"Relationships with other teammates aren't the best course of action anyway, Kiba," said Shino analytically, "They can present too many problems in a battlefield situation."

"I don't care about him dating her! I care about what he's gonna do to her!" said Kiba defensively. Naruto had let go of Hinata at this point, hoping to drop the awkward air that he had created; he would soon find the error in this course of action.

"Come on Kiba," said Naruto evasively, "What am I gonna try to pul- !?!?!?" He couldn't finish his statement because as he took a step towards Kiba, hoping to diffuse the situation, the clumsy ninja tripped over his own feet (that's actually kind of pathetic) and felt his face connect with what felt two good-sized mounds of softness. Instantly, the scene in the tree from yesterday appeared in Naruto's head, as vibrant as the sun. He could also tell that he was in mortal peril. "Mrfm...mrmm…urf!" tried to explain Naruto through Hinata's chest.

Hinata decided to giggle at the most inopportune time, saying, "Naruto-kun! That tickles!" At that moment, Neji walked, apologizing for his lateness, his eyes closed. When he opened them, he wished he hadn't.

"You just had to give me a reason to kill you, didn't you Naruto?" remarked Neji with a deep contempt in his voice.

Naruto knew when he was screwed, and Naruto knew when he really screwed. But now, Naruto realized his was royally fucked in every possible orifice. The gods smiled upon him, however, and delayed his fate when a distraction arrived in a green jumpsuit to interrupt the murderous air.

"Hokage-sama!" yelled Lee as he ran into the room, "I apologize for my tardiness!" He noticed the position Naruto was in and remarked energetically, "Naruto! I don't suggest you do that in public, but I would like to congratulate you on becoming Hinata's boyfriend!"

Naruto took this moment to pull away and remove himself as far from Neji and Kiba as he possibly could while still remaining in the Hokage's office. Hiashi's words echoed painfully through his head. "I swear, I'll never let it happen again!" he yelled out in terror.

Hinata went over to comfort him, albeit rather uneasily; she could feel the glares on her back, all trying to penetrate her and pierce Naruto.

Tsunade broke the awful air with the remark, "Well, with everyone here, I'd like to brief you on your mission." Everyone looked at the Fifth. "A hotel in a nearby town is gaining a reputation," she began, "For having one out of every five of its customers ending up dead. But people keep flocking to it; it's that good of a hotel."

"What a bunch of dumbasses," said Sakura.

"Well, its not that so much," said Tsunade, "The town has probably had some unusual jutsu cast over it, because the guests that die only die in specific rooms, because they are never seen again…but their organs are."

Everyone recoiled slightly.

"All that is ever left is a pile of all the human organs on the bed," continued the Hokage, "the bodies themselves are never seen again."

"Well, then it's a body harvesting operation," said Shino plainly, "They're using them as vessels for justu most likely."

"Yes," agreed Tsunade, "And you six have to stop it. However, you can't let who ever is running this know; you'll be going in dressed as simple tourists. This is more or less a stealth mission, simply done out in the open."

"Fair enough," said Neji, "Who's coming with us?"

"I am," said a voice from the doorway; it was Kakashi. He strode into the room, reading the book Naruto had given him just a while ago. "I will be supervising this little field trip," he said in his usual monotone.

"Field trip?" asked Sakura inquisitively.

"Mission," said Kakashi suddenly, "Sorry. Wasn't paying the greatest attention."

"Like you ever are," said Naruto simply.

"This is no joking matter you know," said Tsunade with a bite of impatience in her voice, "Piles of organs are not attractive."

"Fine, fine," said Naruto grudgingly.

"Very well," said Tsunade authoritatively, "Get ready, you leave in half an hour."

---

Naruto was standing against a tree just outside the village waiting for everyone else to arrive. He hadn't really said anything to Hinata when he had left the Hokage's office because he was still fearing for his life, but had hastily told her that he would meet her outside the main gate and given her an infinitesimally small hug as he could feel Neji and Kiba around the corner. A voice suddenly spoke out from just a few feet away. Identifying the source of the voice, Naruto found it to be Shino, crouching in a tree branch.

"Naruto," said Shino as he jumped down from the tree, "I see that you're dating Hinata."

Naruto blanched. "Don't tell me I have to catch shit from you too, Shino!' said Naruto helplessly.

Shino shook his head. "I don't intend to lecture you or threaten you," he said calmly, "I simply want to warn you. Kiba is more determined than I will ever be to provide a reaction to…suggestive situations. Short of killing or raping Hinata, what you do with her, with her consent, is not my business and as such, displays of affection towards her do not bother me."

Naruto smiled. "Thanks," he said, sounding relieved, "It'd bad enough with Neji and Kiba breathing down my neck, threatening to kill me." Shino nodded. He turned around and resumed his usual quiet contemplation of whatever it was exactly that he would think about.

At this point Naruto felt something soft cover his eyes, accompanied by, "Guess who, Naruto-kun?"

"I don't know," asked Naruto, playing along, "Neji?"

The voice giggled. The world appeared before him, but now a lavender-eyed individual was standing in front of him, smiling happily. "You must be bad at guessing then," said Hinata, "It's me." She hugged him, resting her head on his chest. Naruto returned the embrace, absentmindedly rubbing the top of her head with one of his hands.

"It'd be really bad if you actually _were_ Neji," said Naruto, laughing, "I'd probably be dead."

"You will be if you try _anything_ funny at all," said a voice above his head.

Naruto felt as if ice had plunged into his stomach. Hinata looked up innocently from his chest at the figure standing in the branch above them; Naruto looked up as if the gods themselves were delivering a massive, coordinated finger all at once, fusing into one giant super-finger, threatening to crush him and his existence. Had Neji known he had evoked this kind of effect, he probably would have been very pleased. At the moment though, he face was set in a cold and hard expression and his tone was murderous. "If you violate her innocence," he began, "Hell itself shall reconsider how _terrible_ damnation can be."

Naruto felt his legs give out. He had stared death in the face before, even taunted it openly, but this, this was simply suicide. As the sadistic fates would have it, the fact that Naruto's legs had given out meant Hinata no longer had her body weight pressed against anything and she fell forward as Naruto fell back into the tree. Hinata felt her face press into the crotch of Naruto's pants. Naruto felt himself almost pass out.

"You…you…No one can possibly be that stupid," said Neji, panting, "YOU!" Neji launched a kick of epic proportions directly at Naruto's head, but felt himself be blown back almost immediately. Looking up in slight pain at whom had hit him, he noticed it had been Hinata; a small crater was beneath her. She had stopped his kick with the Eight Trigrams Heavenly Spin, albeit greatly toned down so as to not hurt Naruto.

"It's not good to make such hasty assumptions, Neji," said Hinata, a sharp edge in her voice. She helped Naruto up.

Kiba had arrived moments before to see what had happened. 'Ok, I guess I'll leave the little punk alone when he's with her then,' thought Kiba a bit nervously, 'Don't want to get on _that_ bad side.'

Kakashi, Lee and Sakura showed up last to find everyone in a rather odd state. Naruto and Hinata were sitting under a tree, holding hands and staring at nothing in particular. Shino had been staring at the sky and Neji and Kiba were standing together, looking mutinous.

"Nice to see everyone is so…cheery," said Kakashi rather densely.

"Kakashi-sensei, where do you get that?" asked Sakura disbelievingly.

"Ok, so Naruto and Hinata are cheery," admitted Kakashi.

"Don't tell me you're a sucker for cute couples," said Sakura, a tone of knowing accusation in her voice and a sly grin on her face.

"What gave you that idea?" said Kakshi; he was thankful his mask didn't betray his true feelings: he was blushing a bit.

Lee had run over to Naruto and Hinata and not heard a word they'd said. He outstretched a hand to Naruto, a determined look on his face. "I wish to formally congratulate you, Naruto," said Lee.

Naruto shook his hand rather awkwardly and mumbled his thanks.

"Everyone!" called out Kakashi, more to get Sakura to stop pestering him about how he may or may _not_ find Naruto and Hinata cute, "We have to get going! Come on!"

---

The trip was uneventful, and after a quick of clothing into more "tourist-y" clothing, the group located the hotel. Everyone's jaws drop, and Neji and Kiba looked immediately at Naruto and Hinata; the couple was blushing noticeably, the same looks of surprise on their face.

"This is like something Jiraiya would plan," said Kakashi, amused. (Back in the village hot spring, Jiraiya sneezed, giving away his peeping position and earning him a whaling.)

The group was standing before Hotel Ero-Ero.


	4. Moving Pictures

Author's Note: Well, I'm glad that support has grown even more my little fanfic here; its makes me very happy. Well, we're at Hotel Ero-Ero now, but don't be expecting a lemon. Sorry to all you closet (or open) perverts out there. I'll probably write one later on (chapter nine or ten are the current point I'm thinking of setting up something of that sort) but its all a matter of how the story goes. Anyway, you're all probably sick of me ranting, so lets get on with the damn story you wanted to read. Heh.

Chapter 4: Moving Pictures 

"Hotel Ero-Ero!?" yelled Kiba angrily. "What the hell is the Hokage trying to pull!?"

"Calm yourself, Kiba," said Kakashi flatly, "This is actually a fantastic place to set up a body harvesting operation."

"Indeed," agreed Shino, his hands in his pockets and gazing up at the building, "All of the couples that appear provide prime targets."

The group went inside to check in, acting as much as they could as tourists. Neji and Kiba were quietly telling Naruto that they would make sure as much distance between him and Hinata would exist when it came rooms. Naruto was too scared to do anything but nod. Neji and Kiba, however, would be subjecting to a pure disregard for their wishes momentarily, however.

As Naruto went forward to "ask" Kakashi something (read, get away from Kiba and Neji), Hinata nudged him and pointed out something. It was a man, dressed in a simple black suit and tie. However, he was wearing very square sunglasses, black gloves and an earpiece and was regarding the patrons with unusual scrutiny. He looked, simply put, like a hit man. He watched a couple walk past him, expressionless before putting a finger to his ear and muttering something. He then disappeared behind a door labeled very clearly, "Hotel Staff Only".

Naruto wondered to himself what the man could have been doing and did not notice him taking Hinata's hand and moving forward to the reception desk, despite Kakashi already having booked rooms. However, he was preoccupied at the moment, as was everyone else as the sadistic fates would have it, and did not notice Naruto move forward to the counter. He heard the receptionist mutter something indistinct and then heard Hinata say something with a tone of embarrassment. He had managed to hear, from Hinata. Misconstruing the intention of these words, he said almost randomly, "Of course we can! This is a hotel, isn't it?"

"Fantastic, sir!" said the receptionist brightly, "I guess she's just a little nervous then huh?"

"What? Nervous? Hinata, there isn't anything to be nervous about." said Naruto moronically, not realizing that this response could very well end his life.

"Heh, someone's a little eager? Careful now, sir," said the receptionist, laughing, "We don't want any lawsuits or arrests do we?"

"For what?" asked Naruto; he was so utterly confused at this point he couldn't remember why this conversation was happening in the first place.

"You know very well, sir," said the receptionist with a roughish grin. He handed Naruto a key with a chain that bore a plaque with the inscription "53X" (A/N: read between the lines). At long last, Naruto became aware that he'd been handed a room key.

"Hinata," he asked innocently, "Didn't Kakashi-sensei already get us rooms?"

Hinata was blushing very deeply. "Y-yes, he was, N-naruto-kun," she began, "But you just got us a room." She started fidgeting with her fingers and looked down at the ground, blushing.

"I…I what?" asked Naruto, not daring to believe what he had heard.

"YOU WHAT!?" screamed two voice behind him. It was Neji and Kiba. At this point, Naruto would have rather taken on all of the Akatsuki then face them. Completely beside themselves, they rushed Naruto.

Naruto acted on instinct: he grabbed Hinata's arm and took off, full speed. "Hinata," he said, "Normally, I'd explain, but I fear for my life too much to explain right now. You understand right?" Hinata looked at Naruto's distraught face and nodded, her expression determined.

"You better explain what happened though," she teased.

"I will if I'm not killed," said Naruto, managing a painful smile, "But first we have to find this room." He fumbled for the key in his pocket. "53X, and the rooms we are around right now are…23X. I'd ask you to use your Byakugan, but this is a stealth mission."

Hinata glanced back; Neji and Kiba were running full speed, much faster than normal humans could. "I don't think that's as issue right now, Naruto-kun," said Hinata with a tone of irony. She activated her Byakugan and began searching the complex. She found the room, one floor above where they were. "Found it!" she exclaimed, "Up one flight of stairs, down the hall about twenty meters down the hall on the left."

Three frantic minutes, 12 jostled patrons and a broken plant later and Naruto and Hinata were lying on a bed, entirely exhausted, the door firmly locked and barricaded with everything they could possibly find. It was pure luck that Shino and Kakashi intercepted the two and forcibly stopped them; they had jeopardized the mission enough.

Naruto was panting heavily, his eyes closed, lying on his back. He rolled half over to find the edge of the bed to get up and find something to drink in the room, but ended swinging his face right between Hinata's breasts.

Hinata, too tired to be embarrassed, laughed. "I don't think you do this on accident, Naruto-kun," she said, pushing him back softly.

Naruto stammered his apology and got off the bed. "I'm gonna find us something cold to drink," he said, blushing. He wandered about the suite he had accidentally booked and stumbled upon the kitchenette. He opened the refrigerator and found inside bottles of water. Grateful, he pulled out two of them and closed the refrigerator. He didn't notice the body chocolate inside.

Walking back into the room, he handed Hinata a water bottle and sat down on the edge of the bed. He loved being with Hinata, especially since they had just started going out, but being in this hotel, in this room had made him realize: he was an idiot for not paying attention to what was going on. He looked at Hinata and grinned; unfortunately, resting a bit had made her susceptible to embarrassment and a bit was more than enough for her to have her imagination run wild. Images of what they could be doing on this bed filled her brain so rapidly they gave the illusion of having always been there and so she choked the water she had been drinking, spraying Naruto with it.

" –cough- N-Naruto-kun! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" apologized Hinata, "Let me get you a towel!"

"It's ok, Hinata," said Naruto, sweat-dropping, "Really, it helped cool me off."

Hinata hadn't heard and rushed through the suite, looking for the bathroom. She found it and seized a towel. She ran back to the room and started drying off Naruto.

"Hinata!" said Naruto loudly.

She stopped and looked at him sadly. "I-I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," she stuttered, "I overreacted."

Naruto couldn't bear to see this sadness in her eyes and embraced her. "Heh, sorry," he said sheepishy, "It was just weird to see you freaking out over some water."

Hinata eyes became less sad and she smiled a bit. "I guess it is," she said softly, "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it Hinata," said Naruto in a more upbeat tone, "Come on. Let's go see if I can go outside without fear of being killed."

Hinata laughed and followed Naruto.

---

"Man, it's ironic to be using a hot spring after running so damn much," said Naruto, soaking in the water, "But its really relaxing."

"Yep," said Kakashi, who was sitting next to him, "It is. Of course, I just had to stop Neji and Kiba from killing you."

"That must've been easy," joked Naruto, "Where are they anyway?"

"Guarding the entrance to the girl's hot springs," answered Kakashi, "Which is odd in the first place. You'd think a hotel like this would have _only_ a mixed bath."

"Naruto! How did you manage to run that fast?" asked Lee, on the other side of Naruto.

"When you're running for your life Lee," began Naruto, "You'll do things you never thought you could."

"What do you plan on doing anyway, Naruto?" asked Kakashi, regarding him with a stern eye.

"What…what do you mean?" asked Naruto somewhat nervously.

"You only have one bed in your room," said Kakashi, "Don't tell me you plan on doing something that'll get you killed."

"Aren't we supposed to be doing reconnaissance!?" said Naruto incredulously, "You shouldn't be worrying about who I'm sleeping with!"

"What was that, Naruto?" said Neji from behind. He looked insane.

"N-nothing," said Naruto hastily, "I didn't mean what you think I meant."

"Don't blow a third strike Naruto," said Neji as he stalked away back to his post.

"You are right Naruto," said Kakashi, "Which is why I've got a shadow clone wandering aimlessly around gathering intelligence."

"Good idea," said Naruto, "I'd make a clone but Neji and Kiba would just attack it."

In the adjacent hot springs, Sakura and Hinata were having a very different conversation, but very similar, conversation.

"So, Hinata, a _single_ bed?" said Sakura in a singsong voice.

"I-I didn't choose this, Sakura," said Hinata blushing and trying to mentally block out all the rather pleasing imagery.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you're enjoying the prospects," chimed Sakura, correctly interpreting Hinata's reason for blushing to be far from the heat of the hot springs.

"N-no," stammered Hinata, "I'm not."

"Oh, come _on_ now Hinata," said Sakura, rolling her eyes, "You've liked him for such a long time, don't come out some bullshit that you haven't thought about…you know."

Hinata blushed deeper and dropper face farther into the water until her nose was just barely clearing the surface. Bubbling noises from bubbles popping escaped a few centimeters in front of her face.

"Ok," said Sakura, "Don't admit it; I know it's true and you know it's true so it doesn't make any difference." She grabbed Hinata and dragged her over to the wooden fence and looked for a hole to peek through; there were, surprisingly, not many. "Damn it," she said after some searching, "Forget it, Hinata, guess you win out." She turned to look at Hinata, who had moments before found a hole and was now staring through it, her shyness thrown to the window and her expression and posture highly reminiscent of a certain toad master… Sakura giggled softly and crept away to find Hinata's camera. She snapped a photo, but the flash and sound startled Hinata's "pervert mode" and she turned towards the source of the noise and light.

"Sakura! What are you doing with that!?" she called to her, "Give that back!" She went after her, losing her towel in the process; another series of flashes and clicks were heard.

Accompanying this was Sakura calling out, "Wait until Naruto sees these!"

Hinata felt reality around her fade slightly as she almost lost consciousness. "If you do that Sakura," she yelled, "I'll…I'll…"

"Do what Hinata?" laughed Sakura. She promptly ran out of the hot springs. Hinata followed her, but not before wrapping her towel firmly in place. Sakura ran into the male hot springs and gave Naruto Hinata's camera.

Accompanying this she said, "Don't tell her!" She promptly ran away. Hinata ran in and looked around wildly for Sakura, not noticing Naruto, Kakashi or Lee. She spotted something pink moving and took off.

"Was that Hinata?" asked Kakashi.

"No, it was someone that looked like her," said Naurto, rolling his eyes, "Of course it was!"

"Oh," said Kakashi simply.

"I'm gonna go back to the room," said Naruto standing up and drying his hands to turn on the camera and see what pictures Hinata had taken. As he made it past Kiba and Neji's death glares, he happened to have passed the picture of Hinata naked. "WHAT!?" he yelled, forgetting who was behind him.

Neji and Kiba had surrounded him in no time at all, saw the photo and took action.

"You just really want to piss us off," growled Kiba, "Don't you?"

Naruto, luckily, was fast enough to dodge the punches and kicks thrown at him and ran as fast as he possible could to the room, stealth be damned. The door successfully locked, he changed clothes and went out onto the balcony and stared at nothing in particular, wondering why Hinata had a nude photo of herself in her camera; he had obviously not noted her expression of surprise.

---

Hinata had finally cornered Sakura and demanded of her, in a murderous tone, her camera back.

"I don't have it," said Sakura, smirking, "Naruto does."

Hinata fainted. When she awoke, Sakura was gone and it was dusk. She noted all the couples "enjoying" themselves around her and immediately the camera exploded into her mind.

'What am I going to do now!?' thought Hinata desperately, 'He probably thinks I'm a whore! I have to explain what happened!'

She made her way to the room where Neji and Kiba were standing, apparently waiting in ambush. They immediately bombarded her with their story, how Naruto had stolen pictures of her nude and how they intended to get him back for it. She explained to them what actually happened and the left reluctantly.

Momentarily distracted, Hinata thought, 'Those two will look for any excuse to beat him up.'

When she opened the room door and saw Naruto, his back to the door out on the balcony staring at the burning sky, she felt terrible. 'He's probably going to break up with me,' thought, her eyes tearing up, 'And we just started going out too.' Steeling her will, she walked to the sliding glass door and opened it. "N-Naruto-kun?" she asked tentatively.

"Sit down Hinata," said Naruto softly, still staring at the sky. She obliged. For a moment Naruto said nothing, before finally taking a breath and saying, "What's a naked picture of you doing on your camera? I didn't think you were into that kind of thing." He chuckled and looked at her, a genuine grin on his face. It fell immediately when he saw hers.

Hinata was crying openly. Between her sobs she spoke, "I-I'm so…so sorry, N-Na-Naruto-k-kun. Th-those pi-pictures were take-taken by Sa-Sakura."

Naruto chuckled softly and put his arm around Hinata, drawing her head to his shoulder and placing there. He tilted his head on top of hers and then took her hand. "I figured that, but I just wasn't sure," he said consolingly. He kissed the top of her head. "Stop crying though, there's no need."

Hinata hiccupped softly. "I…I thought you'd hate m-me for th-this," she said, her sobs slowly receding, but her eyes still soft streams.

"You haven't hated me for the past misunderstandings," said Naruto, chuckling softly again, "So I owe you one."

Hinata managed a soft smile and wiped her eyes. "Thank you…Naruto-kun," she whispered, her voice full of gratitude.

Naruto put his arm around her and gave her a soft squeeze. "This is Hotel Ero-Ero, Hinata," he said, admiring the sky as his head lay on the crown of hers, "It's bound to be full of misunderstandings."

Hinata put her arm around his waist. "No, Naruto-kun," she said with the softest giggle, "You're just usually part of most misunderstandings."

"Fine," he laughed, looking down at the crown of her head, "Rub it in my face why don't you."

Hinata looked up at Naruto and kissed him. "Thanks for not assuming anything, Naruto," a gentle and grateful tone in her voice.

"I'm only doing what you did," replied Naruto, "Now, lets get some sleep. A lot of crap has happened today."

"But," said Hinata, suddenly sitting up properly and looking back into the room, "There's only one bed."

"Well," said Naruto wryly, "Let's just pretend it's one long misunderstanding that lasts the duration of our trip."

"Al-alright," said Hinata, blushing, but giggling.

The two got into their bedclothes and got into bed. Naruto was facing the sliding door. The flaming sky had become an ocean of deep blue, punctuated by appearing stars. He felt something tap his shoulder. He rolled over and found Hinata's face inches from his, blushing a deep crimson. "Naruto-kun," she whispered, "Um…"

The fates had at last ended their sadistic spree and imbibed Naruto with a temporary and rare awareness. He understood what Hinata was going to ask and embraced her. Hinata felt her eyes widen with surprise, but then droop with comfort. She nestled her head closer to the finite metronome in his chest and mumbled, "Thank you Naruto." Moments later she was gone, her breathing rhythmic and soft.

'We're together anyway,' thought Naruto and he placed his chin on Hinata's head, 'Neji and Kiba can go screw themselves. I may end up getting my ass kicked tomorrow, but that doesn't matter.'

Within a few minutes Naruto was snoring softly; Hinata seemed to be as good a sleeping aid to him as he was to her.


	5. Impressionist Photography

Author's Note: Well, a few more reviews, more than a few hits (1700 in 5 days, thanks!), I'm flattered over the interest people are taking in this. I decided to advance the plot staying true to the humor genre (and of course, the romance, heh) so that will affect the development of this mission. But the conclusion of the mission looks bleak, writing wise. I suppose that, depending on the circumstances and support, I'll be looking for some ideas that any of you readers may like to see. Yeah, its kind of lame to do that, but there's always the chance a new idea will strike me, making the ideas you leave futile, but hey, at least I'm continuing, huh? Heh. I'll stop ranting now.

Chapter 5: Impressionist Photography 

Naruto awoke, Hinata still in his arms. He yawned softly and looked down Hinata, her breathing slow and steady. 'She's so cute,' he thought to himself, grinning a bit, 'I better not move much.'

Roughly ten minutes later the kunoichi's eyes eased open softly. 'That was a good night's sleep,' thought Hinata. She suddenly realized she was still in Naruto's arms. 'Wow,' she said, blushing a little, 'We're still like this. That's good.' She smiled to herself, unaware of Naruto watching. 'It's so warm like this…'

"Sleep good, Hinata?" said Naruto suddenly.

Hinata's head jerked up to look at Naruto. "Y-you were awake?" she asked.

"Yep," he responded, grinning slightly. He bent his face forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Anyway, this is really comfortable, and I look forward to sleeping like this, but we need to get dressed and find out just what the hell is going on."

"At least we didn't wake up as a pile of organs," said Hinata, more relieved that amused.

The two got out of bed. Hinata went off to use the bathroom and took her clothes with her; Naruto, in the mean time got dressed. He was shoving his bedclothes in a drawer when he heard a knock on the door. Forgetting the death threats for reasons conventional science cannot deduce, he opened the door. Stifling a yawn he said, "Y-yes? What is it?"

"Room service," said a familiar voice in a growl.

"Here's your continental breakfast," said another familiar voice in a deadly whisper.

"Can't you guys give it a rest?" asked Naruto; he had just woken up, and as nice as the time prior to this intrusion had been, it still wasn't enough to keep him from getting pissed off at how early these two were trying to do him in. "What time is it? Isn't it a little early?"

"It's ten 'o clock," said Kiba, slumping a bit and dropping his aggressive stance, "We were kinda worried you hadn't come out."

"But if you did anything to her," said Neji, his tone still murderous, "You're going to wish…"

"Yeah, yeah," said Naruto, thoroughly annoyed now, "I'll wish I was a pile of organs and all that. Kill me later today. I've got to make the bed and get something to eat."

"You slept in the bed?" asked Neji in a barely audible whisper.

"Yeah, with Hinata, why? I didn't do anything. And she asked. And now that I think about it, I got a really good nights sleep like that," said Naruto defiantly.

"Why you…" began Kiba.

"Kyaaah! Help!" screamed a frighteningly familiar voice. Naruto turned to see a secret passageway open in the wall and the assassin looking man carrying Hinata over his shoulder walk out. He noticed the three ninja and took of sprinting. Naruto followed immediately, Kiba and Neji following. Naruto pulled out three kunai and threw them the man's legs, not wanting to hit Hinata. All there made contact, but the man took absolutely no notice of them. Perturbed, he picked up the pace, but the assassin seemed to do that same. Naruto noticed that the assassin was nearing the "Hotel Staff Only" door. He ran full speed and made it through the door just as it slammed shut. Only red emergency lights lit the hallway, giving Naruto the idea that this was not a regular staff area. His quarry a fading red and black silhouette against the seemingly endless hallway, Naruto redoubled his efforts to catch up.

The assassin was losing speed. Naruto could not see, but he seemed to be turning into shreds; Hinata had managed to wriggle into a good position and used several well-placed Gentle Fist attacks, producing this odd result. Suddenly, he crumpled completely, and Hinata got up, pulling shreds of flesh off of her.

"Hi-Hinata," said Naruto, panting, "What…what happened?"

"He just tore apart when I attacked his charka points," she said, confused.

"Ah! This must be one of the empty shells of the patrons that were killed here! That's why its just flesh!" said Naruto suddenly. "Shino and Kakashi were right!"

"Well, what do we do now?" asked Hinata.

"We follow this hallway, I guess," said Naruto uncertainly. "It'll probably lead us towards the source of the trouble." Hinata nodded and the two set off down the hallway. Suddenly, the red lights had disappeared and for a moment, all was dark.

Suddenly, cold and artificial fluorescent lights illuminated the immense room they were in, but more importantly, in illuminated a strange machine in front of them, with something grayish-yellow floating in a small tank. Hinata gasped. "Na-Naruto-kun!" she said, sounding terrified, "Look!"

Naruto turned to look where Hinata was looking and noticed tubes everywhere, all filled with what looked like deflated humans. "Wh-what the fuck is that!?" he yelled.

"They…they must be humans with their organs missing," said Hinata, still frightened.

(A/N: You'll probably just skip this little note, but this next part is kind of graphic, thought most of you are probably used to such shenanigans. I'll probably have to up the rating because of it. Oh well, I'm going to have a lemon later on in the story anyway, so what does it matter? Heh.)

A sudden disgusting slurping, choking noise was heard behind the two. They turned around quickly, and openly gagged.

A naked male, a hook in his back suspending him in the air and a gas-mask looking apparatus on his face and a strange sort of reversed funnel on his ear was convulsing terribly, thrashing and occasionally letting our shrieks of intense pain, coupled with a gagging sound. The mask was attached to a clear tube, which was crimson with blood and had strangely colored lumps of matter hitting the sides every so often. The man was crinkling before their eyes, and soon his body lost all skeletal definition (accompanied by the sounds of breaking bones), sans his skull and he struggled no more. The mask detached, spilling blood on the floor below, along with bits of organs and bones and Naruto and Hinata at once became aware of the strong odor of rotting flesh in the air. Suddenly, the head of the man was convulsing again as the funnel emitted a loud suction noise. Sickening crunches and squishing noises were heard, and in addition to some of the blood that entered the tube the funnel was attached to, bits of skull and brain could be seen. The man resembled now nothing more than an inflatable rubber person you might find at an adult store, only you'd be completely deranged to be aroused by it. The hook traveled over to an open tube and dropped the man in unceremoniously. A lid was screwed on by a mechanical arm, which then took the tube and put it with the others.

A voice boomed out suddenly, "Did you enjoy the process? Shame that that is the last body for today. Can't kill too many patrons." Naruto and Hinata turned to look at the source of the voice. They couldn't find it; it seemed that there were speakers in the room. Suddenly, they noticed the tank with the gray-yellowish thing was glowing. The two rushed up to it (not a very good idea) and looked at what it was; it was a brain.

"A brain!?" screamed Naruto, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DOING THIS? WHAT THE FUCK?!? Why!?"

"I'm a goddamn brain. I don't have a body and I need one. And my name is Lew," replied Lew.

"WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOUR NAME IS!?" yelled Naruto.

"Look, I need a body, so I used psychic control on a ninja that stumbled upon my body when I still had one to kill someone so I could use their body. But it didn't work," explain Lew, "Son of a bitch! So I decided I'd gather bodies and try them out; if they didn't work, they'd just work for me. So I came up with Hotel Ero-Ero so I could have a bunch of subjects. As you can see, I haven't been successful."

"So, the staff are all shells?" asked Hinata.

"No, they can't be, otherwise they couldn't talk you bitch," said Lew, annoyed, "I'm glad that fucker didn't capture you, you're fucking stupid. And your little boyfriend over here aint' too bright either."

"You are completely psychotic," said Naruto quietly.

"Yeah, what else is new?" needled Lew.

"RASENGAN!" screamed Naruto, hitting the tank with full force, shattering it and obliterating the brain inside.

"Fuck," was the last thing Lew said just before he exploded.

---

"So, you mean to tell me," said Kakashi to Naruto and Hinata after they had made it out of the brain room, "that a brain was running this entire operation just to find a body to inhabit?"

"Yeah," said Naruto disbelievingly.

"Sounds like a science-fiction plot," said Kiba, "What kind of brain has telekinetic powers?"

"Come now Kiba," came Shino's flat voice, "It may have been a jutsu. Perhaps the person is still at large."

"Well, we technically accomplished our mission," said Naruto, "So, I mean, we just have to wait for more news when we get back to Konoha, right?"

"You're right Naruto," said Kakashi. Everyone looked surprised. "If we stay here, one of us may end up an empty shell you know."

"Ok, so we're going back to Konoha?" asked Lee.

"Yeah," answered Kakashi, "We are. Everyone grab your stuff and meet me out front in ten minutes."

Everyone set off. Surprisingly, Kiba and Neji did not hound Naruto; perhaps his immense concern for Hinata and the chase he undertook to get her spoke something to them that sounded along the lines of, 'YOU INSENSITVE FUCKS. LEAVE HIM ALONE.'

---

Naruto had gathered his things and was waiting on Hinata. She finished packing her things and saw Naruto waiting at the door of the room. "S-sorry for making you wait so long, Naruto-kun," she said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," grinned Naruto. He noticed the determined look Hinata had on her face. "Ready?"

"Hm," nodded Hinata, taking a step towards him. A quick moment of silence was punctuated suddenly with, "Thank you for chasing after me Naruto-kun, and with such vigor…" Hinata finished the statement with a whispering gratitude. She looked down.

"Of course, Hinata," said Naruto softly, "I…" He stopped talking. He didn't know how to finish the statement.

Lavender orbs swiveled, finding the ocean blue spheres and affixing them. Hinata and Naruto stepped forward together and kissed with a passion rooted in their beings. The room about them, the world about them was lost into an obscure nothingness. Hinata wrapped her arms behind Naruto's neck; Naruto responded by placing his hands her waist. Voracious, feverish passion boiled out of their bodies and between their wrestling tongues. For countless eternities did the moment seem to last. Naruto bit Hinata's lip playfully, but all at once, it would have almost seemed that this action had burst the existence they had crossed into.

But it was not this action, but rather Neji clearing his throat loudly and Kiba saying tactlessly, but with well-placed sasrcasm, "You've got a room; close the damned door."

Naruto felt as if he had been in warm, pleasant water and suddenly been thrown out into cold winds; he was sure Hinata felt the same. "Thanks," said Naruto bitterly. Kiba and Neji left. "I hate interruptions…"

Hinata laughed, "Let's go. The sooner we get to Konoha the sooner we can find somewhere quieter."

"Something changed a facet of the Hinata I knew," said Naruto grinning.

"You did, Naruto-kun," said Hinata happily.

The two kissed once more.

---

Well, there's Ch. 5. Sorry for the wait. By the way, for those of you paying attention, Lew the brain is based on the stand-up god, Lewis Black. I hope you the chapter!


	6. Developing Photos

Author's Note: 2800 views! Fantastic! Thanks so much to all of you that read this story and give me reason to live. (Well, ok, maybe not entirely, but you give me _one_ reason to live.) Ok, there's some rather suggestive material up ahead, so if you'd rather not read it…what the hell am I saying? Most of you were waiting form something along these lines! For those that are reading it purely for the romance though, you may want to skip some parts. Heh.

Chapter Six: Developing Photos 

The trip back to Konoha was uneventful; Naruto had managed to avoid pissing off Neji and Kiba somehow…

For a while Naruto, however, would be dogged wherever he went (provided Hinata was with him) by the two, but within two months, it seemed as if the two had run out of excuses and ideas to keep Naruto from getting at Hinata's "innocence."

One of the most ridiculous (and final) scenarios involved a chastity belt…

---

"Hinata," said Neji, "Put this on, it'll protect your innocence."

"Neji-nii-san," said Hinata, annoyed, "I'm not putting on a chastity belt. Naruto-kun has shown plenty of restraint. Apart from misunderstandings, he hasn't gone any where near my breasts nor my 'innocence'." She emphasized the last word with mimed quote marks.

'Yeah, but you sure as hell have,' remarked a new addition to Hinata's brain: Ero-Hina. Hinata kept herself from blushing. She waved off Neji and went to argue with herself furiously.

'Stop saying that!' said Hinata, allowing herself to blush now that she was safely in her room. She locked the door unconsciously. 'Look, I had a really good date that night! I-I just…wish it had ended with something a little more…aggressive.'

'You wanted him to screw you so hard that-" began Ero-Hina.

'No I didn't!' said Hinata defensively, blushing darker, 'I just wanted something a little more…adult to happen…I mean…I don't have a problem with him groping me…'

'Only because you tried it out yourself to see if you'd enjoy it; and then some…' mused Ero-Hina, smirking seductively.

Hinata blushed a deep cherry and looked away. 'Fine,' she whispered, 'But, I mean, was it that bad that I did…that?' She looked mortified.

'Well,' said Ero-Hina smirking more broadly, 'I couldn't tell you, you were screaming too loud for me to think properly.'

Hinata let out a soft, long moan in reality. She was tenderly fondly the outside of her panties. 'Why do you always make me do that!?' she thought feverishly, throwing her thought at Ero-Hina.

'I don't make you do that, you do,' she said, moving forward and gripping normal Hinata's breast. 'I just…help you along…'

Hinata became aware of her very wet fingers and the wonderful pressure on her breast. "A-ahhh," she moaned out, her knees buckling inwards. She fell forwards to the floor panting softly. "I-I have to stop doing that…"

Suddenly, footsteps could be heard approaching. The sliding door rattled softly and a voice came out, "Hinata? You in there?"

Hinata felt everything around her fade slightly; it was Naruto.

"A-ah! Naruto-k-kun," she began, "Just a minute!" She looked down at her index and middle finger. After a feverish glance around the room, she shoved her hand in her jacket's pocket and unlocked the door with her free hand. Even in her fright, seeing Naruto made her quite happy. "C-come in, Na-Naruto-k-kun."

"Thanks Hinata," smiled Naruto, walking in. "Ready to go?"

Hinata yelped. She'd forgotten they were going out to meet Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino and Lee at Ichiraku (Naruto had arranged it, of course) and then to a festival that was being held. Some of their other friends would be there already.

"A-ah, Naruto, I need to get…um…" she began nervously.

'Don't say wash your hands…don't say wash your hands…' she thought feverishly.

"Wash my hands!" she spoke out triumphantly.

Naruto sweat-dropped and Hinata felt herself almost faint again. "You can do that at Ichiraku," he said, confused. Hinata flailed her arms around, completely forgetting about her…wetness issue.

"B-but, I also need to…um…" she started hopelessly.

Naruto grabbed Hinata's hand (of course the one she was 'using') and led her out the door. "You look fine Hinata," he said reassuringly, "It's just our usual friends, they don't care how you're dressed. There is the festival, but that's not formal either…"

Hinata felt that perhaps it would have been better to faint, but she simply couldn't muster it; something about Naruto holding her hand so gently and the soft tone of his voice made it impossible for her to faint; she felt comforted, even he was holding her soiled hand.

---

The two got to Ichiraku Ramen in time to see Shikamaru making his way lazily there, Ino talking to him animatedly. Sakura and Lee were already there. Naruto let go of Hinata's hand and pushed her slightly towards the general direction of the bathroom.

"Go ahead and wash your hands then Hinata," said Naruto obliviously, "I'll wash mine in a second. I don't know why you're going to though…they look perfectly clean…as do mine…"

Hinata ran off towards the bathroom; Sakura decided to follow her while Naruto and Lee engaged in idle chatter.

---

Hinata smelled her hand, a very concerned look on her face. "I guess he won't notice…" she said to herself aloud, "You can't really tell…"

"Tell what, Hinata?" asked Sakura from behind.

Hinata felt her eyes almost pop out of her head. "Ah, nothing, S-Sakura," she said evasively, putting her hand behind her back. "Just…washing my hands…" She turned around abruptly and washed her hands, ignoring the intense heat of the water; perhaps her hands would be extra clean because of it. "See?" She smiled and washed her hands. Hopefully Sakura was none the wiser.

"Don't you know you need to _not_ masturbate before your boyfriend comes over?" said Sakura slyly.

"What…what are you talking about?" said Hinata defensively.

"I heard the whole conversation," said Sakura, "I'm a girl too, you know. It didn't take long for me to find out what you were talking about. Smelling your hand doesn't really help either, you know."

Ino chose to walk in at this moment. Looking at the two girls and their expressions: Sakura's smug and Hinata's uncomfortable sent off a quick alarm that something juicy was up. "Finally do something to Naruto, Hinata?" asked Ino.

"No, she's just been keeping her hands busy," said Sakura plainly.

Hinata blushed a blood red. "Look, don't tell him," she began desperately.

"We're not going to," Sakura and Ino chorused.

Hinata looked extremely relieved. "Thank God," she said

"Yeah," said Sakura, "He may be an idiot, but I think he can figure it out on his own."

"Probably," agreed Ino.

Hinata felt her knees give out.

---

As it turned out, however, Naruto did not find out during lunch; the festival would be a different story.

"I think I spilled some soup on my hand," he said to Lee. Hinata was in earshot and turned around immediately and stared at Naruto, scared. "But it doesn't smell like it very much. It's more…organic…"

"Were you handling anything organic with you hands earlier today?" inquired Lee.

"Yeah, it's better if you weren't though," said Kiba from behind as he stalked past Naruto towards Shino, "If you know what's good for you."

"Give it a rest Kiba," called Naruto after him. "I don't know…wanna take a whiff Lee?" Hinata's jaw dropped. She ran up to Naruto and did the only thing she could think of and kiseed him on the mouth to silence it. Naruto responded with surprised enthusiasm.

"Am I interrupting something perhaps?" asked Lee quizzically. His eyes widened suddenly. "Ah! Of course! What a graceful display of the wonders of youth!"

"Of course Lee!" said Gai, dropping in from nowhere, "You're spotting the wonders of romance already! Drink from its overflowing goblet as they do!"

Kakashi walked in slowly behind Gai. "Gai, don't put drinking from a goblet into a context where making out is involved," said Kakashi, a bit exasperated.

"But that display of youth is so vigorous!" said Gai dramatically.

"Leave them alone," said Kakashi wearily, "You're probably bothering them." Kakashi dragged Gai and Lee off towards the rest of the group.

Naruto and Hinata were too busy to notice anything that they had said, however. Done out of desperation, Hinata found that she should probably be a bit more spontaneous from there on out; it was quite enjoyable. However, Ero-Hina was also plotting to take advantage of this momentary weakness, and the accursed fates were spinning a course of events that would be enjoyable and difficult to explain.

Like a ventriloquist, Ero-Hina spoke through Hinata. She whispered enticingly, "Want to go back to your house, Naruto?" Normal Hinata felt her self waver slightly in her consciousness. Before she could regain control of herself and fix the situation, however, Naruto gave a most unexpected reply.

"Sure," he said, smiling knowingly.

Neji, however, had been watching from afar.

'Wow,' thought Naruto to himself, 'I can't believe she suggested that.'

'OF COURSE SHE DID YOU IDIOT,' growled the Kyuubi, 'NOW MAKE HER YOUR MATE TO FULFILL ALL OF YOUR ANIMALISTIC PLEASURES.'

'That's something you'd do,' thought Naruto, 'I happen to treasure my relationship and would like to keep it from being destroyed.' Naruto was not aware, that Hinata would probably jump at the opportunity to appease the Kyuubi. 'Jesus, I feel a bit dirty agreeing to this.'

'THAT IS IRRELEVANT. YOU WISH FOR HER TO BE YOURS ANYWAY,' the Kyuubi snarled.

'Shut up!' thought Naruto spastically, 'I gotta figure out what exactly I'm allowed to do when we get to my house…'

'HAVE YOUR WAY WITH HER,' said the Kyuubi simply.

'Fuck you,' thought Naruto angrily, 'I'd rather wait for the ok than hurt Hinata.'

Naruto was rather unaware that he was being dragged to his home, Ero-Hina mostly responsible as normal Hinata tried in vain to struggle.

He came to his sense when he realized he was in his entrance way. All of a sudden, everything seemed to have become perfectly silent. Hinata was staring at him, embarrassed, and staring at the floor. "I'm sorry for dragging you here, Naruto-kun," she said apologetically.

"You don't need to be…I…" began Naruto. He stopped himself again.

A strange buzz seemed to hang in the air for a second, but the next thing Naruto knew he had been thrown to the ground. He felt Hinata's tongue halfway down his throat and the zipper on his jacket being pulled down.

Hinata pulled off Naruto's jacked and ran her hands over his bare chest, licking him on the neck.

'Jesus Christ,' thought Naruto frantically, but thoroughly enjoying himself, 'What's gotten into her?'

Naruto quickly turned the tables and had Hinata's jacket off in a few moments, fondling her left breast and kissing her fiercely. Hinata let out soft moans between their lips. Naruto worked his way under her bra and found a rapidly hardening nipple and teased it with his fingers gently.

He felt his hand suddenly removed from under the bra, however. For a moment he thought he had crossed a line he had forgotten to observe, but found quite the opposite; he hadn't gone anywhere near far enough.

His hand being guided by hers slipped quickly and smoothly southward, down into her pants and under her panties.

Naruto felt a blush to rival Hinata's cross his face. He slid a slightly shaking finger down over her entrance and stopped for an infinitesimally small fraction of a second before deciding to press forward. Not much more than his finger had made it through when the front door blew open, a distressingly familiar figure in the frame and an inopportune moan from Hinata filling the air.

"Na-Na-Naruto," moaned Hinata, "P-please…" She opened her eyes a fraction and noticed the figure in the doorway and Naruto's convulsing body. His hands were gripped together tightly and he seemed to be trying to distance himself from the figure by utilizing his immobile buttocks.

"Hinata-chan," said Neji with a tone more menacing than Itachi's when he hasn't had his coffee and a crumpet, "I told you to wear that chastity belt." Naruto saw as Neji rushed forward, his knee aiming for his face.

'I hadn't even gotten my finger fully in yet,' crossed Naruto's mind before everything went black.

---

Well, there we have it, Chapter Six with plenty of vaginal fluid references.

I apologize to those who are offended or off-put by my antics; I hope you'll keep reading.

To those aroused or laughing at my shenanigans though, there'll be plenty more opportunities for them in later chapters, so stick around!

Oh, and drop me a suggestion if you feel that a character besides Sakura could be used a plot device and/or overbearing "innocence protector."

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	7. Flash Frame

Author's Note: Ok, so I haven't updated in a while, but I've been busy, what with floors being refinished and Halo 3 eating my time (once I checked the time and saw it was 8:00…the next time I checked it 12:45). Anyway, here I am now, typing up chapter seven. Enjoy.

**Chapter Seven: Flash Frame**

Naruto awoke rubbing his head and moaning softly. "What the hell hit me?" he spoke out dazedly.

"Neji's knee at about Mach Three," responded a voice in front of him.

Naruto opened his eyes and saw the fuzzy outline of Hinata grow steadily clearer; she was smiling.

Naruto rubbed his forehead. "I take it you stopped him?"

"Yeah," she said happily, "He's back home." Naruto eyes had focused enough to notice that Hinata was kneeling in front of him, dressed as she was before he was knocked out: her jacket off.

Naruto blushed slightly and looked away. Trying to keep his tone casual he said, "Th-that's good…uh…what should we do now?"

Hinata cocked her head to one side slightly, giving him a look of innocent contemplation. Naruto hazarded a glance back at her and felt himself get a raging hard-on. His eyes widened and he blushed deeper, letting out an indistinct noise that sound a bit like, "Egeh!"

Inwardly, Hinata was smiling: it seemed that had done the trick. She pulled the shoulder straps on her bra down with her thumbs so that they hung loosely and leaned over, on all fours and said to Naruto, "Something wrong, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked back at her and noticed what she had done; her breasts seemed to threaten to burst out of her bra. He blushed even deeper and said quietly, "Its not fair."

Hinata let out a seductive giggle, "What isn't fair, Naruto?"

"I can't believe you can be shy but then turn around and be seductive," he said, smiling a bit and rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

Hinata leaned in more and spoke softly into Naruto's ear, "Is that a problem?"

Naruto didn't give a reply, but instead kissed Hinata fiercely on the mouth, pushing her back on the floor, his frame above hers. They rolled about the floor for a while before Naruto unclasped Hinata's bra with surprising ease while her frame was above his. (A/N: Uh, it's actually not that hard for you guys that think it is, really). Her supple breasts fell out of the restraints and Naruto took one in his hand massaging it softly, while delicately licking the nipple of the other. Hinata groaned softly. Naruto switched mounds and bit the nipple of the breast he had been fondling previously softly. Hinata groaned louder and felt her arms, which had been supporting her weight shake noticeably. Naruto sat up and kissed Hinata again, fondling her breasts with more vigor. Hinata wrapped her legs around Naruto's waist and threw head back, moaning still louder as Naruto sucked on her neck.

'I guess reading Ero-Sannin's books helped a bit in the end," thought Naruto sheepishly; he would have to thank Jiraiya…but then he thought, "Uh, I should probably just keep this secret…he might stalk us…'

All Hinata thought was, 'How'd he get so good at this?'

"Naruto-kun," whispered Hinata, her voice straining in pleasure and a blush on her face, "C-can you pick up from before Neji barged in?" Naruto blushed softly, but nodded.

Naruto moved forward, laying Hinata on the ground. He slipped his hand under her panties and was much quicker about what he was doing this time and plunged a finger into her, then another. Hinata gripped Naruto's back and moaned loudly.

'What did Ero-Sannin write about in that one book?' thought Naruto, moving his fingers in and out quickly, 'Oh, right…' He removed his fingers. Hinata picked up her head and looked at him with one eye.

"Naruto, why'd you stop?" she asked, panting. She threw her head back and moaned loudly again though, as Naruto began to make quick, exacting circles with his fingers around her clitoris. Naruto kept this up, sucking on one of her nipples while doing so and increasing the speed and intensity of his fingers. He felt Hinata's breast press against his face suddenly and noticed that she was arching her back. He moved to kiss her, dampening the moans of pleasure. Hinata's lips pressed against his a bit harder and opened as her back arched more. Her body began to shake and at long last she felt a screaming release. She fell back to the ground, breaking contact with Naruto's lips, panting heavily. Naruto put his wet fingers in his mouth almost curiously; her taste was pleasing.

Hinata opened her eyes slightly and weakly reached out to put her hand behind Naruto's head. She pulled him to her face, kissing him hungrily, her hand gripped on his crotch.

A loud knock was heard suddenly at the door. Naruto looked at the door quickly, eyes fearful for a moment, but when the knocking resumed, deduced it was just a visitor.

"Get dressed Hinata," whispered Naruto, smiling softly. He helped her off the floor and handed her the jacket and bra lying forgotten a few feet away. He pointed out the bathroom and walked to the door; he hadn't heard Hinata trying to stammer out,

"B-but y-your jacket…my jacket…"

Naruto slipped on the jacket that was left on the floor, still looking at Hinata, "Just get dressed."

Naruto opened the door, smiling and said, "Yes?"

The visitors giggled loudly. It was Sakura, Ino and Shikamaru. "Nice jacket Naruto," said Ino, snickering.

"It suits you," added Sakura.

"What're you talking about? I always wear this jacket," said Naruto, confused. He looked down at the jacket he had on: it was Hinata's. "What the fuck!?"

"Just lock your door and pretend no one's home next time you idiot," said Shikamaru, shaking his head.

Hinata stepped out from behind Naruto wearing his jacket. "I-I tried to tell you, Naruto-kun," stammered Hinata.

Temporarily distracted Naruto looked at Hinata with a look of happy disbelief. "How can you switch from temptress to your shy self again in fifteen seconds?" he asked, shaking his head but laughing. He stopped laughing however, when he realized who was in front of him. "Just pretend I didn't say that…Please?"

Sakura and Ino were beside themselves with glee.

---

"We came to ask if you wanted to come eat dinner; it's gotten late since you two left the festival. Its dark out already, but I guess we should leave, we already interrupted something good," said Sakura with a sly grin, looking at Naruto over the kitchen table.

"Yeah, you kind of did," said Naruto, agitated. 'Right when it was getting good too,' he thought silently.

"Don't get testy now," said Ino in mock indignation.

"Yeah," said Sakura, giggling again, "You should blame Hinata. We heard her three houses down."

Hinata blushed deeply and stared at her fingers, fidgeting as usual. Naruto looked to Shikamaru, hoping this wasn't true. Shikamaru caught Naruto's eye and looked uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat a bit and muttered an indistinct affirmation.

Hinata blushed harder and hid her face in the extra space Naruto's jacket afforded her. Naruto had changed into a t-shirt and simply blushed. "Well," he started wryly, "It can't be that bad. Let's just go to dinner. What do you think Hinata?"

Hinata looked at Naruto and nodded, embarrassed. Everyone left the kitchen and walked towards the front door. "Hey Hinata, do you want your jacket?" asked Naruto, noticing it on the chair.

Hinata shook her head. "I-I like your jacket…Naruto-kun," she said softly.

Ino whispered, "That's so frickin' cute," to Sakura. Sakura nodded silently with glee.

"Alright Hinata," said Naruto, smiling at her, "If you want to."

The group of shinobi wandered about the thinning crowds (the festival was drawing to a close, and the only major event that remained were, as was typical, fireworks) looking for a restaurant. They noticed an unusual food cart; it looked like someone who had been dropping acid and read abstract art books had created it. It resembled nothing more than a morass of squiggles of random colors, strangely cut rectangular blocks and strips of black lights and neon. Not surprisingly, no one was eating at the cart. The group approached the cart cautiously and noticed that what looked like a cross between a shinobi and a civilian was standing at the grill. He looked up at them, his eyes the same midnight blue his hair was.

"Can I get you guys a menu?" he asked lucidly.

The Nara spoke first, "Do you serve food here? Your cart looks more like an art exhibit."

"It does that sometimes," said the cook plainly.

"Uh, sure, give us some menus then, please," said Sakura, off-put by the unusual remark. The group sat down in front of the cook and the grill. The cook handed them menus.

"The name's Noric," he said to them with a slight grin, "Just got into town."

"The food on the menu looks…normal enough," said Naruto uneasily.

"Heh," said Nordic, "Yeah, my cart's a bit weird. It runs off…well I'd rather not explain it. Your heads might explode."

"Go on," said Shikamaru, somewhat intrigued.

"Well, it runs of a quantum physics based core," explained Nordic, "To make is really simple, it exists in multiple areas and dimensions at once as different, separate entities, provided that an individual is not directly perceiving it, at which point it assumes a form, usually this one, in the location that is least improbable, usually right in front of me."

"Easy enough," said Shikamaru, a bit bored again.

"That's impossible," said Naruto suddenly.

Everyone looked at the blond Genin suddenly, looks of immense surprise on their faces.

"Well, it is," said Naruto defensively, "Something can't exist in multiple places at once, let alone in multiple dimensions, its common sense. You need Genjutsu to do something like that."

"That's quantum physics…er..?" said Nordic.

"Naruto, Uzamaki Naruto," he said.

"Right, that's quantum physics, Naruto," said Nordic.

"Whatever," said Naruto disbelievingly, "Let's just order our food."

"What'll it be?" asked Nordic happily, taking out a pad and pencil.

The shinobi ordered their food and ate, talking animatedly with Nordic, who seemed to be, apart from a strange flavor of normal (insane-flavored) also had the most unusual perspectives. He was discussing, at the moment, the finer points of wormhole travel.

"So, the objects would have to exist, for an infinitesimally second, in two places at once, cut in half by the hole, but there would also be a time when they existed in neither area, effectively leaving the universe and entering a sort of nega-space," finished Nordic.

"Uh…right," said Hinata nervously; Ino and Sakura were talking and Shikamaru and Naruto had gone to the bathroom, thusly, she had been singled out. "That's really…interesting Nordic-san."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" said Nordic happily.

Hinata saw Naruto return and engaged him in conversation. Nordic was left to talk with Shikamaru, or rather Nordic was left to hear bored affirmations from Shikamaru; the Nara didn't say much.

When everyone got up to leave (the fireworks were starting soon) Nordic said to them, "Thanks for stopping by to eat! You guys are the only group that bothered to come eat here." The group thanked Nordic and turned to leave, but Hinata noticed she had left her camera. She ran back to the stand, but it had vanished without a trace.

"What the hell?" said Naruto, rushing up behind her, "He was just here."

"My camera…it's here…" said Hinata, picking up the camera with a confused look on her face. A note was attached; it simply read: "Cameras aren't suited for quantum travel. –Nordic"

"Hey, there's a new picture on it," said Hinata suddenly.

The picture showed the stand, a strange disturbance in the space-time behind it and Nordic waving cheerily. The caption read, "It's not so impossible after all, eh Naruto?"

"So he wasn't lying about it having a quantum whatever core?" said Naruto incredulously.

"I guess not Naruto-kun," said Hinata.

"Well," began Naruto, "Whatever. Let's go see the fireworks."

"Yeah," said Hinata softly.

Naruto led Hinata to a more quite part of the village, up to a rooftop where the display would be brighter and easier to see. Hinata relaxed her head on Naruto's shoulder; Naruto put his arm on Hinata's shoulder and rested his head on hers. The fireworks display was good and the two spent a bit of time afterwards kissing in the relative darkness.

The time came, however for the two to head home; Naruto walked Hinata back to her home. The entire time, however, Hinata was rather out of it; he had been busy wrestling with a feeling she wasn't sure about conveying yet, for fear mainly of receiving a negative response. However, her camera suddenly vibrated slightly in her jacket and she took it out as they reached the main gates. The screen was on and it said in plain white lettering amidst a black background, "Yes."

Hinata gulped and inwardly nodded. Blushing slightly she turned to Naruto. "Naruto," she began.

Naruto kissed Hinata before she could finish her sentence and said to her when they broke apart, "Hinata, I was really scared about telling you this, so I'll just say it, I…I…"

"I love you," said both of them together.

Naruto stood in a short, half-stunned, but completely joyous silence. Hinata looked back at him with a grateful, ecstatic smile and slightly wet eyes. The two embraced each other and once and kissed as deeply as they could, as if it would act as an eternal seal of love.

---

Author's End Note: Well, there we have it, Chapter 7. I apologize for the general crappiness of the chapter (I think this is my worst chapter) but I got writer's block in the middle and forced myself to create a plot device to advance towards this ending you just saw. I'm not very happy with the product and a rewrite is possible, but not extremely likely. I hope you readers liked it…but…eh, whatever. It took so long to get to this part because…well…I'm not the biggest fan of one chapter "I love you's". I'd make it take even longer, but it's not really my style, so I'll cop-out and say that its been a relatively long time…

Screw this. No one wants to hear me rant about my "woes". I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will review and continue your fantastic support of this fic. I promise to write one up to my standards next time. Then I won't rant. Yay!


	8. Composite Photos

A/N: Ok. I realized something. My story has no plot! Isn't that grand? So last chapter, my poorly written filler (or so says an associate) is actually…ok? The general plotline is Naruto and Hinata's relationship, but if I skip to a lemon too soon, we have essentially, nowhere else to go (I'm not too big on marriage because its too distant in the future). So that means good things for you readers (and bad things for you lemon nuts) the lemon will be pushed back to an unspecified chapter. But, the story will continue through various misadventures, all of them as humorous as I can make them. These changes shouldn't be too shocking; everything else should be the same. I apologize for any inconveniences this may cause some of you. This chapter, is, in general, fluff for a mission idea.

Chapter Eight: Composite Photos 

Naruto woke with a start and was scared. He had had the most wonderful dream that Hinata had told him she loved him, but now, awake, he realized that it was just a dream. He placed his nightcap on his bed stand, unhappy, but he noticed something was there. A camera! He turned it on and saw the photos from his "dream". "Yes!" he yelled ecstatically, "It wasn't a dream! It's true! Hinata-chan loves me!" He ran about his apartment joyously and practically skipped to the door when he heard a knock upon it. He was still grinning his happy, goofy grin as he answered the door. "Yeeeeeeeees?" he asked cheerfully.

"What're you so happy about Naruto?" asked a bored, uninterested voice. A crunching noise was heard just behind the voice.

"Eh, nothing really Shikamaru," said Naruto sheepishly. "What's up?"

"It's troublesome, but me and Chouji were going to find some of our other friends around the village and…-sigh- Do stuff I guess," mumbled Shikamaru.

"It's not so bad," munched Chouji, "I like just staring at the clouds though."

The Nara perked up a little bit, "Yeah, maybe we could just do that. Might be interesting to see what everyone else sees in the clouds."

Naruto yawned loudly. "I kind of wanted to see Hinata today," he said thoughtfully, "I think I might see you guys in a bit."

"You can always bring her along you know," said Shikamaru, trying to keep things simple.

"Sure, I'll meet you guys at that hill then," said Naruto smiling. The two friends walked off and Naruto went inside to get dressed.

---

The sun filtered through the rice paper door onto the sleeping figure of the Hyuuga heiress. She woke up slowly as the sun trailed up her form onto her face. Her face scrunched somewhat and she rolled over and woke up. Her thoughts had lain throughout her dreams on the elating (and simultaneous) response Naruto had given her profession of love. She smiled warmly to herself and blushed a bit. She got up and dressed as usual, figuring she'd go see what Naruto was up to. However, the thought had just barely crossed her mind when her sliding door flew open.

"Hinata! You're hanging out with us today!" yelled a blonde figure that proceeded to drag her out of the room and out to the front of the Hyuuga complex, where a pink and brown haired kunoichi stood, waiting.

After Hinata's eyes refocused after the strange blur, she saw the forms of Ino, Sakura and Tenten before. Ino was wearing her usual outfit. Sakura seemed to be trying a new outfit, a simple white button shirt and a knee-length red skirt. Tenten was wearing a brown t-shirt with red lettering that said: "Think of enemies as mobile armories," and plain black pants.

"Um, hi," said Hinata, a bit disoriented still, "What's going on?"

"We're going out for the day," said Sakura, adjusting her skirt, "What'd you think we were going to do?"

"But…ano…I was going to see Naruto-kun today," said Hinata shyly.

"You can go do something with him later Hinata," said Tenten dejectedly, "They're dragging me away from Neji too."

"A-ano…" began Hinata, but her sentence was lost as the lavender-eyed kunoichi was dragged off again by Ino. "Where are we going?"

"Just going to wander around town," answered Sakura, "And interrogate you." She smirked noticeably.

"Oh great…" mumbled Hinata, staring at the passing ground.

---

Naruto arrived at the cloud-watching spot; Hinata hadn't been at the Hyuuga compound, which was odd. He was off-put to Kiba on the hill, but he seemed much less hostile; perhaps because Hinata wasn't with him. He noticed, however, that a new face was with them. "Who're you?" asked the blond Genin.

The figure rose and stuck out a hand, smiling broadly. He perhaps five feet and nine inches, with dark blue hair and deep black eyes, "I'm Lorn." (A/N: Yes, this seems like a self-insertion, but its really just the insertion of a facet of my persona (the dense facet) to move things in a direction). Naruto shook his hand.

"I'm Uzamaki Naruto and I'm…" he began.

"Going to be the next Hokage. I've heard," said Lorn, smiling, "Lie down."

Naruto did so and stared at the clouds. He didn't really see much for a while. He felt his eyes droop and he became drowsy. Lorn was talking with Shikamaru about unusual scientific shapes and it only served to make him sleepier. His mind wandered to Hinata. He opened his eyes again, and wasn't sure if he was dreaming. He could see her smiling face in the sky, her beautiful figure and a cloud that looked like the two entwined in an embrace. He laughed out loud a bit.

"What's so funny Naruto?" asked Lorn, "There a dick in the sky or something?"

Sai, whom had been sitting under a tree spoke out, "He probably saw a cloud that reminded him of his own."

"Shut up, Sai," said Naruto absently. The clouds had enthralled him.

"Heh, look Shikamaru," said Chouji, "Its another you."

"What the hell are you looking at?" asked Kiba.

Unaware of who had asked the question, Naruto answered dazedly. "I can see Hinata's figure up there," he spoke, completely out of it, "It's so beautiful."

"Do you even pay attention to who's speaking?" growled Kiba.

"Leave him alone Kiba," said Lorn, annoyed.

"Who the hell are you!?" asked Kiba, more confused than angered.

"Oh right. Jeez, this is troublesome," mumbled Shikamaru, "You should pay attention to things Kiba, as troublesome as it is. This is Lorn. He recently drifted into Konoha."

"Hello there, everyone," said Lorn cheerily.

"How'd you know my name if you've never met me?" asked Kiba warily.

"Easy, I'm the auth-" began Lorn, but the rest of his statement was lost.

"You didn't introduce him at all, Shikamaru!" asked Kiba.

"Ugh, this is why I like it when it's just me and Chouji; more people just make everything more troublesome," groaned the Nara.

Shino, whom had been standing rather than lying down and staring off southward, chose this moment to speak. "Either way Shikamaru," he said coolly, "It wouldn't have hurt to have introduced him. Pleased to make you acquaintance Lorn." He nodded towards Lorn. Lorn smirked back and inclined his head.

"Whatever," muttered Shikamaru, lying back down a bit away from the noise. Chouji followed him.

"Well," said Naruto, looking for any excuse to go find Hinata, "I'll just leave Shikamaru with one less person then…" He started his retreat down the hill, but Lorn called after him.

"Hey, I'll go along too!" he said as he ran up next to Naruto.

"Uh, alright then," said Naruto, somewhat put down; his retreat had almost gone flawlessly.

"Hey! I'm going too! Last thing I need is this bastard trying to pull something," said Kiba fiercely. Shino was a bit behind him, walking quietly.

"What's he going to pull? A bank heist?" asked Lorn.

"What?" said Kiba, caught off-guard, "No! What the hell gave you that idea?"

"You said pull something," said Lorn innocently.

"You can't be possibly be as dense as this idiot here can you?!" groaned Kiba.

"Hey! Who're you calling an idiot!" said Naruto hotly.

"Well, the way I see it," spoke Lorn neutrally, his voice barely audible over the bickering, "Is that density and idiocy are two different things. Naruto happens to be a bit of both. I'm just dense."

"That was fruitless," said Shino quietly.

"Anything is fruitless with these two arguing," shrugged Lorn.

"Are you jealous or something?!" asked Naruto angrily.

Kiba stopped cold. "Why would I be jealous of you!?" he asked defensively.

"Because I'm dating Hinata!" retorted Naruto, "Why else?"

"Of course it isn't that! She's my teammate and I care about her!" explained Kiba.

"Well, she's my girlfriend and I care about her too! Jesus, you think I'd actually try to pull something?" asked Naruto incredulously.

"That aside, it's still not a pleasant image to imagine…" began Kiba.

"Then don't imagine it?" said Lorn helpfully.

There was a short silence. Lorn hummed the French national anthem.

"Look, lets just drop the subject," said Kiba, defeated, "I'm sorry about this Naruto. I've been overreacting I guess." He seemed to deflate and looked at the ground uncomfortably. "It just takes getting used to."

Naruto regarded Kiba sternly, "Well. I guess so. I mean, look at Shino, he wasn't fazed at all."

"Shino isn't fazed by anything," said Kiba truthfully.

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment," said Shino.

"That aside," continued Kiba, "I'll leave you alone. I'll just take Shino's stance on it."

"Ok, I'll make sure to not rape or kill her then," said Naruto.

"What?" asked Kiba, a look of surprise and confusion on his face.

"That's what Shino said," replied Naruto.

Lorn kept humming the anthem.

"Stop that," said Naruto and Kiba together.

"Aw," said Lorn dejectedly.

"Anyway, you have to earn Neji's approval now," said Kiba to Naruto, "Which you probably can't."

At that moment, a familiar, book-bearing figure walked by, reading as usual.

"Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto.

"Hm? Oh, Naruto. Sorry, didn't notice you," said Kakashi absently. He greeted the other nin. He looked at Lorn, "Who're you?"

"Huh?" asked Lorn equally absent; he had found a stick and was drawing symbols on the ground, "Oh. Hi, I'm Lorn. Is that Icha Icha Paradise?"

"Huh? Yeah it is," remarked Kakashi, "How'd you know?"

"Eh, I read some of it," shrugged Lorn, "It was ok."

A look fell upon Shino's face, then Kiba's and then, unusually enough, Naruto's. The look said something along the lines of, "WHO THE FUCK CLONED HIM!?"

"Kakashi, you don't have any kids do you?" asked Naruto.

"No, I don't," said Kakashi, unaware of why he was asking the question. "Oh! I just remembered!" He turned to Kiba and Shino. "Kurenai wants to see you guys at the usual place. Seen Hinata anywhere?"

Kiba and Shino shook their heads. "I suppose we had better go see her," said Shino unperturbedly, "Naruto, go find Hinata. You were planning on seeing her anyway."

"Yeah, and…" Kiba seemed like he was about to reprimand Naruto, but instead said, "Yeah, go find her." The two left.

"You don't know how much shit I've been catching from Kiba," said Naruto, "Good thing he's stopped, eh Lorn?" There was silence. "Lorn?"

Naruto looked around; Lorn and Kakashi were gone.

---

Lorn walked into a small restaurant; the conversation he had had with Kakashi was interesting enough, but he never noticed how unaware the two were of this similarity: density. (A/N: Why yes, I am that dense. ) He was seated at a table behind a table of girls, two whom were talking excitedly.

"I don't believe it!" said Ino happily, "That actually happened?"

"Wow Hinata," said Sakura with equal giddiness, "That's like a storybook ending."

"Being around Naruto's helped a lot with your shyness hasn't it?" mused Tenten.

Hinata was blushing and fidgeting with her index fingers as she usually did. "Um, I, I guess it helped," she whispered softly. She had related to them all the details of the night before…well most of the details anyway.

"Come on!" said Ino, slapping her on the back, "You should be happy! He loves you!"

"I am," said Hinata a bit more strongly, "I really am, but…"

"Is he good with his hands?" asked Ino, smirking.

Hinata blushed deeply. "Um…" she stuttered, "I-I, w-w-well, y-you s-see…"

"Just drop it Ino," said Sakura, laughing a bit.

Hinata looked at Sakura with immense gratitude. "Fine," said Ino reluctantly.

Lorn, who had been eavesdropping leaned back in his chair towards the table. "Hinata! There you are! Kurenai was looking for you! By the way, I'm sure he's good with his hands! I mean, he can do the Rasengan, can't he?"

Hinata fainted. Ino laughed and Sakura asked Lorn, "Um, who are you?"

"Sorry, I'm Lorn! I couldn't help eavesdropping, I hope you don't mind," said Lorn apologetically. "Oh dear, it looks like Hinata fainted too. Jeez, let me help." He leaned too far back in his chair and promptly fell over, hitting his head on the table and knocking himself out.

"Wow," said Tenten sarcastically, "That was helpful."

"Come on, let's get Hinata to Kurenai then," said Sakura, "And…Lorn to…we'll figure that out on the way."

---

Hinata woke up with a familiar softness and smell about her. "Naruto?" she asked groggily, "Is that you?"

"Yeah! You're finally awake!" said Naruto, relieved. Hinata turned and saw his face come into focus and remain somewhat fuzzy as her eyes drooped slightly. She kissed him on the lips and fell asleep on his chest, her head throbbing.

"Wow. Why is she so sleepy?" asked Lorn.

"Maybe you collided with her head?" supplied Naruto.

"Yeah, anything that dense is bound to leave a concussion," remarked Sakura jokingly. In the time that Lorn had been conscious again (it had taken all of four minutes after they set off to find Kurenai) she had found him to be a likeable, if dense, guy.

They were in Tsunade's office; Kurenai's only piece of info she had to give was that Tsunade had a mission for them and for Naruto's team (Lorn smirked when Sakura remarked that it was suspiciously convenient). Kakashi had, of course, forgotten to tell his team, and it was Kurenai that had told Sakura of the meeting.

Sai arrived shortly thereafter, at which point, with everyone else present and accounted for, Tsunade began the mission briefing; the mission was straightforward enough: simply deliver an important contact to a village they'd never heard of: Village of Hidden Nomads.

"You will be escorting Lorn," explained Tsuande.

"Oh right! I almost forgot that!" said Lorn suddenly.

Everyone fell over (minus Naruto and Hinata).

"You forgot you cane here for a mission!?" said Sakura, completely bewildered.

"That sounds right," said Lorn cheerily.

Tsunade sighed; it was like having another Kakashi in a way. "Either way, you are to escort. Granted, he can defend himself, but the scrolls he carries require constant wariness."

"They're just scrolls," said Naruto, "What can they do?"

"Uh, sometimes they spout demons, bugs, bombs, prostitutes, monkeys, goats, fishes…" said Lorn as he ran through the mental list.

"Right," said Naruto, a bit weirded out.

"As such, you are to deliver the scrolls and make sure they do not open until they reach the limits of the Nomad Village," said Tsunade with finality, "Understood?"

Everyone nodded (except Hinata).

"Excellent," said Tsunade, "You leave tomorrow."

Everyone left the office promptly, except for Naruto and Hinata as she was still asleep.

"Tsunade-baasama?" asked Naruto suddenly out of the silence.

"Yes?" replied Tsunade.

"What's in those scrolls?" he asked.

Tsunade sighed. "Some very powerful, terrible, and uncontrollable jutsu," she explained, "Only the Nomads can successfully change the jutsu to make it safe."

"Why's someone like Lorn holding them?" asked Naruto.

"He can actually control them fairly well, being a Nomad himself," replied Tsunade, "And, I apologize, but I have to be somewhere Naruto. Leave when Hinata wakes up."

Naruto stroked the top of Hinata's head absently, wondering what kind of power the scrolls could contain. He looked out the window and saw the sky was rapidly darkening. "Nothing happened today really, but the day is already gone…" began Naruto.

'THE DAY IS MINE TREBEK!" yelled a man who bounded through the door suddenly and out the window, laughing hysterically all the way.

"What the fuck!?" yelled Naruto.

"Not so loud please, Naruto kun," said Hinata sleepily.

Naruto kissed the top of Hinata's head. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "Still, I mean, after what happened yesterday, we couldn't do anything today."

"Maybe," said Hinata, straightening up and rubbing her eyes, "But I still love you."

Naruto kissed her.

---

Well, general fluff. No real progression other than a mission. Sorry. Don't kill me! I hope you enjoyed it though…Review please! Be critical! That might be even better!


	9. Incorrect Caption

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating everyone. Well, taking into account what I've been told…I should probably heed the advice; no, I'm not stopping the fic; don't worry! I'm just going to take some advice I found in a review and remove Lorn from the fanfic, don't worry though, that plot hole has already been filled. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Incorrect Caption 

Lorn had told Naruto to stand back, but the Genin's need to help friends had overpowered him and he rushed in foolishly to intercept the shinobi head for Lorn, and more importantly, the scroll of unrefined jutsu he held. Lorn could not stop himself from deploying the jutsu when he noticed whom it would hit; he channeled as much chakra as he could into the scroll to change the effect of the otherwise deadly jutsu before it released itself from the scroll right at Naruto. He hoped it would suffice.

Naruto felt a searing pain and everything went black.

---

"**Kit. What is going on?"** asked the Kyuubi, half-amused, half-annoyed.

Naruto looked up at the cage that contained the Kyuubi and noticed that one of its paws was sticking out of the cage, very improbably. The paw seemed to have phased through the bar of the cage and now seemed stuck.

"Paws don't usually do that," said Naruto, a bit dimly.

"**Of course not, you idiot,"** said the Kyuubi, a bored tone in its growl, **"Which is why I'm asking you."**

"How should I know!?" said Naruto defensively, "Does it hurt?"

"**Not in the slightest,"** spoke the Kyuubi, growing increasingly bored.

Naruto walked up to the paw and looked at it apprehensively. He reached out and touched it. The fur was actually quite soft. Suddenly, however, the paw seemed to melt and radiate off intense heat and chakra.

"**Argh! Kit! **_**That**_** hurts! What on earth are you doing?"** snarled Kyuubi.

"Whoa, wait, stop!" said Naruto frantically. The melted paw began to snake along the ground and wound around Naruto. The pain was intense; it felt as if the paw was melting into him. "What's going on!?"

"**Kit!"** said the Kyuubi through clenched teeth; having your paw melt off was not an enjoyable activity, and the threat of your host dying suddenly only served to make things worse.

Naruto screamed as he felt the last of the melted paw enter his skin, and suddenly he heard a voice, just as he felt he was going to lose consciousness.

---

"Naruto-kun!" rasped a terrified voice; it sounded like it had been crying.

Naruto awoke in a familiar room: a hospital room. He looked blearily at the figure that had called out his name; it looked like Hinata.

"Hi-Hinata?" whispered Naruto with immense effort, "Wh-what happened?"

Hinata broke out into open sobs again and hugged Naruto. "I-I th-thought-t you w-were g-g-going to d-die!" she cried with into his chest.

Naruto was surprised to find he didn't ache from the hug; his arms, however, felt like bags of concrete. He managed a smile (apparently, he still had trouble coordinating himself, even if he wasn't in pain) and said with a bit more force, "Well, you know how it is Hinata; Death isn't too fond of me. I'm probably too loud for his taste."

Hinata looked up at Naruto and gave him a shaky laugh and tear-stained smile. The blonde Genin tried to lift his head to give her a kiss, but found that it too felt more like a boulder than a skull. Hinata laughed again and kissed him.

"As long as you're okay, Naruto-kun," smiled Hinata. She hugged him again and Naruto suddenly felt like the weights on his body had left him and hugged Hinata back.

"What happened? I know I rushed in…again…" said Naruto sheepishly.

"The jutsu hit you," said Hinata as she pulled up a chair and sat next to his bedside, "And knocked you out. You've been here for a day." Hinata looked at Naruto sadly.

"Wow. What'd Lorn say that jutsu was supposed to do?" asked Naruto.

"According to him, it's supposed to overload the chakra system," said Hinata.

"How's that work?" asked Naruto.

"He said that it draws all the physical and mental energies of the body and converts them to chakra, and then adds them to the chakra already in the body. It then focuses it behind the navel and bursts it outward." Hinata shuddered, "The person explodes…violently."

Naruto felt a lead weight drop into his stomach; could this have happened to him, albeit to a lesser extent? He decided to ask.

"So… what happened to me?" asked Naruto uneasily.

Hinata looked at him with a sad smile. "Nothing permanent or dangerous as far as Sakura and Hokage-sama told me."

Naruto felt the lead weight dissipate. "That's great! When can I go?"

Hinata didn't meet Naruto's eye. "I don't know Naruto-kun. Sakura said you have to stay here for observation; according to Lorn, he managed to change the jutsu at the very last possible moment, but he changed it so haphazardly, there's no telling what it's done to your chakra system."

Naruto slumped back into his pillows. 'Great,' he thought sullenly, 'At least Hinata's by my side.'

The door to the hospital room burst open suddenly, revealing a pink haired figure, a busty figure and a figure that had its nose in a book.

"Ah! You're awake Naruto!" said Sakura, running to his bedside and putting a hand on his forehead, "And your fever's gone too! Great!"

"Thanks for helping me out, Sakura," said Naruto. He turned to Tsunade, "You too, Obaa-chan."

Tsunade let this lack of respect slide; he was fine, though with stamina like his, it was really rather expected. "No problem Naruto."

"Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto, "What're you here for?"

"Huh?" responded Kakashi, as dense as ever, "Oh. We've got some questions to ask you."

"With that," began Tsunade, "Hinata and Sakura, we need you two to please leave the room. I'm afraid you can't hear this."

Hinata looked a bit mutinous; anything that concerned _her_ Naruto-kun was certainly something she should hear. Nonetheless, she followed Sakura, albeit rather sullenly, out the door of the room.

"Naruto, there was more to that jutsu then Hinata has probably told you," began Kakashi once the two kunoichi had left the room, "Lorn changed it, but not sufficiently that it didn't draw out chakra from you…and the Kyuubi."

"That explains my dream!" said Naruto suddenly.

"What dream?" asked Tsunade sharply; it could be integral to understanding what may happen to Naruto.

"I was in front of the Kyuubi's cage, but its paw was sticking out…through, literally _through_ the one of the bars of the cage. I touched it and then it melted, wrapped around me and burnt into my skin…there was so much chakra in the paw it was scary. The Kyuubi is still missing its paw too," explained Naruto.

"**You're damn right, kit. And it hurts like a bitch,"** growled the Kyuubi.

"That is…unusual to say the least," spoke Tsunade hesitantly after a pause, "There's no way of knowing what effects that will have…you did essentially absorb a literal piece of the Kyuubi into your chakra network. I say you find the Nomads and immediately have them restore you to you pre-paw absorption state."

"Uh…ok then Obaa-san," said Naruto a bit confused.

"Naruto…try using chakra," said Kakashi suddenly.

"Sure," said Naruto. He threw his hands up into his favorite seal and performed the Kage Bunshin jutsu. A clone appeared with no ill effects on either side.

"Hmm…" said Kakashi thoughtfully, "Well, you can still use chakra normally. Concentrate your chakra for me. But…get up."

With surprisingly little difficulty, Naruto got up and began to try to concentrate his chakra. It didn't work but suddenly he felt a huge surge of it, way more than he had ever had without drawing from the Kyuubi. He felt tingly all over and felt parts of his body feel like they were turning into jelly. His legs gave out, and he ceased focusing his chakra when he hit the floor.

Tsunade had her mouth agape, and Kakashi surely looked the same way, but his mask didn't show otherwise.

Naruto looked at them confused, "What…what's going on?"

"You…your body…" managed Tsunade.

Naruto got up quickly and ran to the mirror in the room. He no longer had ears in the usual sense; he had fox ears. Large, fluffy fox ears. And the marks on his face had deepened a bit. And he had a tail. Nine of them. Nine swaying fox tails, each fluffier than the next. He turned back to Tsuande and Kakashi and yelled at the top of his voice: "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME!?"

"KAWAII!" squeaked a familiar voice; it was Hinata, who ran up to Naruto and hugged him, playing with one of his ears. "It's so soft!"

Naruto looked at Hinata a bit bewilderedly and then asked, "Hinata-chan, what happened?"

"I heard you scream out, so I got scared and ran in," said Hinata sheepishly, "I guess you're fine…Naruto-kun." She blushed.

Naruto kissed Hinata's forehead and turned to Tsunade, "I assume you now know what the paw did to me, huh?"

"Yes, but should we really…?" asked Tsunade. She hoped she got her implication across.

"Really what?" asked Hinata, looking back and forth between the two.

"I want to tell her. Alone," said Naruto, his face set and his tone resolute.

Tsunade nodded grimly; Hinata was a wonderful girl, but she had no idea what this could do. She and Kakashi left silently.

"Tell me what Naruto-kun?" said Hinata, looking at him innocently.

"Hinata…have you ever wondered why I have two kinds of chakra? Or why I seem to change in bad situations? Or why…why I have such fox-like characteristics?" Naruto looked at Hinata grimly.

"Well, were the fox ears some kind of jutsu that went wrong?" she asked, a bit nervous and scared now; Naruto didn't look very happy.

"Well…it is. But it's the jutsu Lorn did…it…it imbibed me with something; more so than I've ever had put in me…though…" Naruto trailed off and looked at the floor. He didn't know how to say it.

Hinata looked a Naruto for a long while. He stared at the floor and finally looked up at Hinata with a look of pleading.

"This happened because I'm a Jinchuuriki," said Naruto, unable to meet her eyes, "I have the Kyuubi sealed in me."

Hinata's eyes widened. She had always assumed Naruto simply had some abnormal chakra condition. His fox-like markings, she gathered, were perhaps a facet of the condition. But she knew now; it was because he held the most terrible demon in existence; more terrible than Tsunade when she caught Jiraiya peeping, or like the time when Itachi found out there were no more crumpets in the Akatsuki lair because Tobi ate them all, or when…well, you get the point.

"That's why everyone hates me. I'm house the source of so much destruction, fear and hate," said Naruto guiltily.

Hinata at last found words to string together, "But you aren't blaming yourself, right?" She was as surprised with her own daring as Naruto was.

"What…what do you mean?" asked Naruto, awed.

"Well, this isn't your fault, is it, Naruto-kun?" she asked quietly; she blushing ferociously.

"Of…" began Naruto. How could he not blame himself? Then again, somewhere he knew this notion was psychotic.

"Don't," said Hinata, looking at the floor, "Don't blame yourself. It's not right. You have no reason to blame yourself. You didn't do anything…the Kyuubi did." Hinata looked up at Naruto, her eyes wet, but her face set with a look of determination, "My love didn't murder all those people and cause all that destruction. He's clumsy and loves ramen."

Naruto was at a loss. Hinata was right; if anything, his willpower has kept the Kyuubi at bay and the village safe. He just couldn't wrap his head around someone still loving him like Hinata did when he acted a cage for such a cruel demon. He stood still for a moment and then embraced Hinata. "Thanks, Hinata," he said quietly.

Hinata smiled a bit to herself and played with one of his ears. "I love you Naruto-kun, so it doesn't matter what you're a vessel for." She giggled softly. "I also love these ears, but we should probably find a way to get you fixed."

"I don't want to go to the doctor," pouted Naruto jokingly.

Hinata laughed and bonked Naruto on the top of his head, "That's creepy Naruto."

"Baa-chan? You can come now," called out Naruto.

Tsunade strode in and was most relieved to see the two entwined. "Well, provided everything went well, lets get you fixed Naruto."

Naruto let go of Hinata and covered his crotch, looking at Tsunade with a mortified expression. "Not you too, Obaa-san!"

They all laughed.

---

Naruto, Hinata, Sakura and Kakashi arrived where the Nomads had been staying when they came with Lorn only to find the area deserted.

"What!?" yelled Naruto in disbelief, "Where'd they go!?" He ran about, flailing his arms.

"They're called Nomads for a reason idiot," said Sakura, annoyed.

"Why do they have to move though!? Isn't one place good enough for them?!" whined Naruto.

"In any case, we have to get back to Konoha to tell Tsunade, she usually keeps tabs on where the Nomads go in case she needs jutsu refined," droned Kakashi.

The group set off for Konoha; the entire trip had been a waste and Naruto was feeling down. It was bad enough to _house_ a fox, but to actually have to _be_ one now?

Hinata looked over at Naruto's glum expression and blushed with an idea. She ran off suddenly and yelled, "Catch me, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked up to see Hinata take off running, laughing. He ran after her, but she was increasing the gap. 'I got it!' he thought suddenly. He began running on all fours; completely unaware that this was what Hinata intended. Using her Byakugan, she saw this and turned around suddenly and did a light Heavenly Spin, stopping Naruto in his tracks but not knocking him over.

"Good boy," she smiled at him. She patted the top of his head and laughed.

Naruto fumed a little bit at being tricked and then decided to get Hinata back. "Hinata-chan?"

"Yes, _Kitsune_-kun?" she purred, emphasizing the second word.

"I think that fox paw did something else too," he said, looking at the floor and grinning sneakily.

Hinata looked a bit more wary, "What did it do?" She hoped she hadn't triggered anything.

"It made me more animal!" he yelled, pouncing on Hinata, knocking her to the ground and kissing her hungrily. Hinata responded enthusiastically as the two rolled off into the brush along the side of the road and then to a small clearing, just barely off the road, but hidden by bushes. Hinata groped about Naruto's head before finding a fox ear and fingering it softly. Naruto growled softly for added effect, eliciting a giggle from Hinata, who bit his lip in turn.

Hinata's hands found the bottom of Naruto's shirt and pulled upwards, getting it off and tossing it softly to the side, before moving towards his neck and biting down on it. Hinata stopped and licked the spot tenderly and then trailed down Naruto's chest and stomach. Naruto felt himself rise ashamedly more and more the farther down Hinata went further down. Hinata's face was hovering over his crotch now. Naruto had no idea what to say, but noted that these instances of speechlessness were becoming increasingly common. He managed to voice a sort of inquisitive grunt. Hinata looked up at him, meeting his eyes. Her face was set in the most seductive manner had ever seen it. He felt his pants and boxers being pulled down. He saw his throbbing member being pulled out gently, no longer constrained. Hinata opened her mouth slightly and then stuck her tongue out, looking Naruto in the eye the entire time. Still watching him, a slight blush on her face, she licked slowly and deliberately from the base up to where the shaft met the head. This entire practice alone almost brought Naruto to a release.

'If only she didn't do it so…so…right!' he thought in a daze, his mind foggy.

Hinata repeated this motion once more and then stopped over the head before coming down far enough to cover it. Naruto couldn't fathom how Hinata got good at this; it wasn't like she'd dated anyone before. Hinata swirled her tongue about the head and then dropped her mouth farther over the length until Naruto felt his head hit the back of her mouth. Hinata pulled back again, leaving a glistening trail of saliva. Then, she went back again. Again, Naruto felt his head hit the back of her mouth, but then he felt it slide down, into her throat as Hinata took the remained of his member in her mouth. Naruto sincerely hoped this didn't bother her; he'd accidentally gagged on chopsticks enough to know what…on second thought, he'd rather not think about that. Hinata was slowly increasing her speed; Naruto felt his pleasure mounting each time, and Hinata had yet to break eye contact with him before she closed her eyes and focused her full attention at…the…task…at hand. She stopped momentarily, pleasuring him manually and licking the underside of the head before continuing again at a very rapid pace.

Naruto knew he was out of fuel: he couldn't hold himself back anymore. He put one of his hands behind Hinata's head and pressed slightly; he threw his own head back and moaned out, "Hi-Hinata! I-I'm cumming!" Hinata astoundingly, quickened her pace even more. Naruto released himself at last for what seemed like a long time. He felt one of his legs twitching. "A-a-ah…" he stuttered out, "Th-that was…" Hinata looked up at him, her face still set as seductively as ever, though blushing very deeply and swallowed audibly.

"Was that good…Naruto-kun?" she purred. She licked some of his fluids of him and pulled her hair out of her face.

Naruto tried to say "It was," and "Let me do it to you now" at the same time, with the sentence coming out as, "It me do was now you." Hinata giggled, and understood the gist of what he was getting at. She got up and reached for her waistband, when Naruto suddenly got up frantically and pulled his shirt on and tucked himself away back into his pants. He grabbed a length of his sleeve and wiped Hinata's face frantically, his foxy left ear twitching the entire time.

"Naruto!" said a familiar voice, "Hinata! Where'd you guys go?"

Naruto pulled Hinata out of the clearing and through the bush back onto the main road. He looked to his left and saw Sakura running up towards him.

"There you are, you idiot," she said, "Where'd you guys head off to?"

"We got…um, side-tracked," said Naruto sheepishly.

A vein pulsed in Sakura's forehead, "In the forest?"

"Oh crap," said Naruto helplessly.

"PERVERT!" screeched Sakura, punching him into the stratosphere.

---

Naruto was happy; Tsunade had told him that a Nomad member was coming to put him right that day. Hinata was glad, though a bit saddened that his foxy ears would be leaving him. The two were waiting in Tsunade's office for the member. Naruto had his arms around Hinata's waist and was nibbling her neck affectionately. He reached up and fondled one of Hinata's breasts; they were alone in office, so why not?

"Wow, Naruto-kun," said Hinata through a deep blush and soft moan, "When you become Hokage, are you going to do such perverted things in your office?"

Naruto put his hand back on her waist again and smiled sheepishly, "Hadn't thought of that." He rested his chin on Hinata's shoulder and contented himself with drawing circles on her stomach with his finger. The door opened suddenly and the two looked up at the visitors: it was Tsunade and who could only be Nomad representative.

Naruto's face fell; it wasn't Lorn. Nonetheless, he greeted the Nomad, who's name Emiko. She had a strange hair color: it was a gradient, changing from brown steadily into green bangs.

"Well Naruto, let's see if we can't fix what Lorn did," she said cheerily.

After a few moments consideration, she performed a few hand seals. Naruto saw smoke shoot up around him and a sort of reverse effect of everything that had happened to him with the ears and melting paw. When it ended, he was panting and sweating. Emiko looked at him with a look of curiosity. "Well, you endured that well. I sealed the jutsu into a scroll. It's a very interesting scroll because you can call out the jutsu, and you alone; it's a shame the Hokage couldn't tell me why." Tsunade looked off uneasily.

Naruto looked at Emiko blankly, "What benefits?"

Emiko laughed, "Well, probably increased hearing, speed and stealth, if I don't my fox characteristics mixed up."

Naruto's face dawned with comprehension, "Of course! It did!"

Emiko laughed again and bade everyone good-bye after making a duplicate scroll and muttering about "refining it for general use" and strode out the door.

Naruto remembered suddenly and called out after Emiko about what happened to Lorn.

"Haven't heard anymore of him than you have," she said, a very slight edge in her voice.

Naruto was puzzled. What could Lorn have done? Where'd he go?

---

Naruto had decided to celebrate not being half-fox anymore by taking Hinata to dinner. Unfortunately, they ran into a couple of friends and their party had swollen to 11: Shikamaru, Temari, Ino, Chouji, Sakura, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Kiba, Shino had all seen them in some way or another on the way to the restaurant and invited themselves politely, minus Neji who was tagging along to watch Naruto.

The dinner went by rather uneventfully. Hinata got up to go use the bathroom; Sakura and Ino tagged along.

"Naruto, is that fox jutsu useful?" asked Shino mildly.

"Yeah, it increases hearing, speed and stealth apparently," explained Naruto, taking a bite of ice cream. He left the spoon in his mouth and furrowed his brow thoughtfully. "I jush hope it doeshn't hurt so mush each time I useh it."

"Still, a mild animal transformation is actually pretty useful Naruto," said Kiba thoughtfully. Naruto was glad he was being much warmer towards him.

"But if it's painful to use it, what's the bother?" droned Shikamaru, stacking toothpicks into a castle idly.

"Well, ish still prewwy cool. It makes me all foxy," said Naruto, the spoon still in his mouth.

"I wonder if that jutsu affects you in more ways than one," said a voice silkily from behind. Its hand trailed down Naruto's chest and stopped on his stomach. It was Hinata.

Naruto felt the spoon slide out of his mouth in shock. He laughed uneasily and looked at everyone else. Shikamaru had caught Temari's eye and looked off in the other direction, blushing softly, stacking toothpicks on a broken castle; Temari was busy looking anywhere but at him, blushing all the same. Shino pushed his glasses up his nose placidly. Kiba laughed; he didn't have to hound Naruto if Hinata could put him in these situations so easily. Sakura and Ino were both giggling madly. Neji, had stood up, his hand glowing with chakra while Lee and Tenten restrained him. He was mumbling murderously about "destruction of innocence". He deflated slightly when it struck him that Hinata had said that.

Nearby, Jiraiya, whom had happened to be eating in the restaurant with Kakashi giggled gleefully and begin writing notes voraciously. Kakashi giggled inwardly like a little girl; they were _so cute_ together!

---

**Author's Note:** Yay! MOAR FLUFF. Now with blowjobs. Well, there we have it, chapter nine! I hope you enjoyed it! I'll come up with the plot premise for the next chapter ASAP, and I hope you guys weren't too upset with Lorn's absence. I think I'll make a little side arc later on as to whatever happened to the Kakashi-clone. Until next time, review!


	10. Acceptable Circle Of Confusion

**Author's Note:** Hello everyone; sorry for the delay once again, but I've been trying to think about where to take this fanfic, and in the process, came up with an entirely new fanfic! Don't worry, this one will continue on, but for those interested in some romance/drama/action keep your eyes peeled for "The Hyuuga Insurrection", which will flesh out Lorn's back story (he'll just be an OC, not a god-modding idiot, heh) and as such, Lorn will not make a repeat performance in this fic; I apologize to those disappointed by it. This fic, of course, will remain humorous and I've decided to heed some advice and begin supplying some more pairings (no crack). I'm also injecting some other genres (mostly drama). Well, that's enough ranting, onward!

Chapter Ten: Acceptable Circle Of Confusion 

"Neji! I swear! I didn't do anything!" yelled Naruto in fright, dragging Hinata by the arm out of the restaurant.

"GET…BACK…HERE," breathed Neji, throwing several shuriken at Naruto; all of them missed in his blind fury.

"But I didn't do anything!" screamed back Naruto as he rounded a corner; technically, Hinata had caused this, but Naruto wasn't about to put down fresh confidence.

Naruto did not realize that he had run in a complete circle and ended back at the restaurant; nor did he realize that he bolted back inside. Almost subconsciously, he found his friends still at the table, all still a bit dazed at what Hinata had said. He dove under the table, letting go of Hinata's arm and hissing at her in a panic, "Shh!"

Hinata sat down in front of the hiding Genin and started talking to Tenten.

"How am I going to make him stop?" asked Hinata wearily.

Tenten looked at Hinata thoughtfully and suddenly lit up. Giggling she waved for Hinata to get closer and whispered her plan into her ear.

"Is that really going to work?" gasped Hinata.

"He's got to see the light of day sometime," said Tenten simply.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Sakura and Ino were doing their best to take advantage of how awkward Temari and Shikamaru looked. Sakura decided to pester the Sand kunoichi while Ino bothered the perpetually lethargic Nara.

"Come on Temari," began the strawberry-haired ninja, "Are you ever going to do something?"

Temari mumbled uncomfortably; for someone who was usually so tough, it was actually a bit unsettling. "W-why do you care?" she finally said.

"Because it's a bit like watching Naruto and Hinata before they were together, only worse, because you both like each other; in their case, one was just a dense idiot and the other was to shy to say anything," said Sakura pointedly.

Temari made an indistinct noise in her throat; Sakura was right, waiting wasn't the best course of action. But they both knew how they felt; how do you go about bringing it out and talking about it? 'Hi, I heard you like me and I like you too, let's go out,' sounded extremely stupid in Temari's head. "I'll do something about it," said Temari, "Just need the right circumstances."

Shikamaru, obviously, heard none of this because Ino was pestering him. "Look Ino, I'll do what I want," he droned.

"That's nothing! Literally!" said Ino angrily; she wasn't about to put up with his lethargy, he was going to do something even if she had to force him.

"So what?" said Shikamaru, a bit agitated now, "Women are troublesome anyway."

"Don't say that like you believe it," huffed Ino, "I've seen what you've done when she's not look-"

Shikamaru, with surprising speed, clamped his hand over Ino's mouth and said urgently, "Shhhh!"

Chouji chose this moment to put in his crunchy two chips…cents. "Listen to her Shikamaru," said Chouji idly, "It's better you get it done now then later; we all know how much you like her."

Ino removed Shikamaru's hand and said to him acidly, "See!?"

"Fine," he said, at last relenting, "But when do I start?"

"NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT!" yelled Ino and Sakura in perfect unison. As one, they grabbed Temari's and Shikamaru's heads and forced their lips together.

Neji bounded into the restaurant and stopped when he saw the scene. "They're together?"

Temari and Shikamaru initially tried to pull away at forcibly having their mouths pressed together, but eventually relented and were enjoying a thoroughly good kiss.

Sakura and Ino gave each other a high five and then turned their attention to what Neji was going to do to Naruto.

"IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE UNDER THAT TABLE-" screamed Neji at the quaking Genin under the table.

Tenten got up and turned Neji towards her, "Leave him alone will you?"

"Stay out of this Tenten," growled Neji.

"You need to relax," said Tenten softly.

Neji was taken when her lips met his; he was more taken aback when she pressed the kiss further. Perhaps it was because he was so busy trying to kill Naruto he never really put much attention into more important things; like the affection a teammate had for you. When at last they broke apart, Neji looked a bit bemused.

"Uh, s-sorry, Tenten," said Neji after a pause. Neji suddenly heard a low rumbling behind Tenten.

It was Hinata, and she looked demonic enough to have Itachi consider changing underwear. "Neji-nii-san…what are you doing?" she breathed.

Neji, needless to say, bolted.

After a pause, the group of ninja burst out laughing. Naruto crawled out from under the table and kissed Hinata on the cheek and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"That was amazing! Maybe he'll finally leave me alone now that he's had a taste of his own medicine!" said the blond enthusiastically.

"It was all Tenten's idea really," said Hinata softly, a smile on her lips.

Naruto thanked Tenten. She looked quite pleased with herself and blushed softly.

Unbeknownst to the group, a dark figure had been watching the group the entire time. It smirked to itself, its eyes resting particularly on the lavender-eyed kunoichi.

---

Neji lay on his bed, huffing and panting. He felt a mix of emotions at once: anger, excitement and a severe need for some tea. The excitement came from Tenten's kiss; he was glad she liked him. The anger came from the fact that realized that it was a plot to get a dose of his own medicine; granted, he would have to lay off now. "Only because I've got better things to do now," he growled somewhat softly, thinking of Tenten. He was thirsty because running like a fucking animal was thirsty work.

Neji got up to make himself some tea. Lemon perhaps. Yes, lemon. It was delicious tea to have. He would have lemon tea and then go to bed. Perhaps tomorrow he could strangle Naruto. No…Tenten would kill him. He would be forced to give up his pursuits.

"Damn her," he said audibly, "Women truly hold the power."

Hiashi had been walking by and heard Neji. He smirked and said aloud, "Sweet Kami, yes, they do."

Neji choked on his tea.

---

The following day dawned happy and bright. And the splendid mood promised Naruto a wonderful day with Hinata. Unfortunately, fate had something else in mind. He had scarcely set out for the Hyuuga compound when a very grim looking Neji appeared before him. This took Naruto aback; it looked as if someone had died.

"The Hokage wants to see you, Naruto," said Neji quietly.

"Why do you look so glum?" asked Naruto.

Neji sighed, "It'll be a tough mission Naruto." He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"For Neji not to want to kill me, it must be serious," said Naruto aloud. He set off for the Hokage's office.

"Obaa-san," said Naruto worriedly as he walked into the Hokage's office, "What's going on?" Naruto pulled back the chair in front of the Hokage's desk but was promptly told to stop.

"You're going to jump back up again when I tell you anyway," said Tsunade darkly.

Naruto stared at her.

"Hinata's been abducted," said Tsunade.

"Wh-what?" said Naruto. He didn't understand.

"She's been abducted," repeated Tsunade.

"N-no, I…I just saw her yesterday." He paused. "This isn't a very funny joke," said the blond, managing an uneasy smile.

"I am not Naruto. You must find her and get her back, as I'm sure if I assigned anyone else, you would have forced yourself to go along," continued Tsunade, "A note was left." She produced the note from her drawer. "It simply asks for a ransom and gives a time and place." She handed it to Naruto, who took it from her, his movements jagged.

"Wh-when do I start?" asked Naruto, his voice trembling.

Tsunade stared at the figure before her; his chakra was amassing. It was best to let him set out and tell his teammates to simply follow his trail.

"Now," she replied simply.

"Good," said Naruto with finality. He disappeared, leaving behind only a strong gust of wind.

Somewhere outside of the village, he was racing towards the location detailed on the note.

"**I'm going to kill the bastard. No excuses,**" growled Naruto, a tail of chakra swaying visibly behind him.

Deep inside him, the Kyuubi growled in affirmation.

---

"So you sent him out alone?" asked Neji.

"Yes, but naturally, you three are to follow him," said the Hokage matter-of-factly.

"Right," said Sakura, nodding with determination.

"Alright then," said Kakashi, looking over his book with mild interest.

"How should we track him?" asked Sakura.

"He'll have cleared a visible path," answered Kakashi.

Kakashi was right. Half an hour later, they were outside of the village, greeted by a sort of ravine created straight through the trees towards the cave the kidnapper had outlined in his ransom.

---

Naruto stopped outside the cave the perpetrator had described. He was not supposed to be there for another day or so; the assailant had deemed that sufficient time for the ninja to get things in order.

Naruto wasn't going to wait; he pressed on, the red aura of chakra around growing ever more sinister.

---

Hinata's eyes fluttered open. She was in a dark stone room. Her clothing was a bit ruffled and dirty. The room was utterly barren save a bottle of water in the corner. She activated her Byakugan; she was surprised to find she could not. She looked down at herself and could not figure out why she could not, until she noticed a strange symbol on the back of her left hand. It looked like a circle in another circle; inscribed in each was a triangle and surrounding the larger circle was a square that perfectly boxed it in. There was also strange lettering that she could not make out.

The terror set in instantly; was her captor after her bloodlimit? What if he was after _her_?

'_I went to the bathroom…and then…that's all I remember,' she thought in horror._

She suddenly realized she had a pounding headache. The back of her head sported a large bump roughly the size of a golf ball. She winced when she touched it. She got up and went to the door of her cell and tentatively pushed; to her surprise it opened. She found herself in a dark hallway. Steeling her will, the kunoichi walked down it slowly and deliberately before finding herself in a large, cavernous room. In the center was a table that might seat five people, chairs, a tablecloth and lit candles.

"Ah, you're finally awake," said a voice from behind her suddenly. Hinata turned instantly and assumed a Jyuuken stance. The voice laughed softly, coldly, "Of course, a pitiful attempt at fighting me."

Hinata narrowed her eyes; she could not yet perfectly see the figure, but she knew it was wearing a cloak and hood and was roughly a foot taller than her. She prepared herself to strike, but her palms would not expel chakra. It seemed that the strange seal did more than seal her bloodlimit.

"Ah yes," crooned the shadow, "You can't defend yourself without your precious chakra or eyes can you?" In one swift motion, he backhanded Hinata.

Hinata hit the ground and tasted blood. She looked back at the shadow that had moved to the table and sat down.

'_He's fast,' she thought, 'That's not good.'_

"Sit down, you silly child," said the shadow.

Hinata remained rooted to the spot.

The captor sighed, "Perhaps some light would help?" Hinata heard a clapping noise and the cave was suddenly bathed in enough light to see her captor. He was a male, with black hair slathered on his face and dark gray eyes. They bore an almost wistful intellect. His mouth was twisted into a very slight smile, one that simultaneously gave off an aura of arrogance and pity. It was all very unsettling.

Hinata walked over tentatively to the table and sat down on the edge of her chair across from the unnamed captor.

"Excellent," he said placidly, "Now, your little friends should be coming by soon, which is just what I want. The Jinchuuriki…oh, when he gets here it shall be a sweet harvest."

"What are you talking about?" blurted out Hinata.

"That seal you have upon your hand is no ordinary seal; you do realize that yes?" began the assailant, "It not only seals your abilities: it lets me use them." His eyes suddenly gained the characteristics of the Byakugan.

Hinata gasped. "H-how can you do that?" She looked down at her seal and noticed it was glowing.

"Special seals of course," said the shadow matter-of-factly, "How else? No one in my memory can use these seals. And when that Jinchuuriki comes barging in for his girlfriend, I'll be able to sap the Kyuubi's power from him. I'll be unstoppable."

"**If I had a bowl of ramen for every time I heard that one,"** growled a voice deep within the cave. Naruto appeared next to Hinata suddenly; his appearance was growing more and more like they Kyuubi's with each passing second. **"I'm not going to give you that chance." **Naruto shot towards him, a barely perceptible blur and slashed viciously. The shadow avoided the strike, but barely.

"Weren't you ever taught manners?" whispered the assailant maliciously, "I haven't even introduced myself."

"**Fuck you,"** growled Naruto, lunging at the attacker and grabbing him by the throat. Within moments, the kidnapper was gasping for air. A horrible retching sound was suddenly heard behind the two, however. Naruto turned around, still throttling the attacker and let go in horror. Hinata was doubled over on the floor, clutching at invisible hands wrapped around her throat. The seal on her left hand was glowing blood red.

"You cannot hope to win as long as that seal is upon her hand. I am not called the Voodoo-nin for no reason," replied Voodoo, licking his lips hungrily. "Let us see how long you last before you kill me, and therefore her, or let me take the Kyuubi's power from your body."

Naruto began to look more like his usual self, his heart sinking and fear gripping his body; he might as well have been told he could only win by tearing out his own heart.

He turned to look at Hinata, who looked back at him with a terrified expression.

It was the perfect strategy; Naruto could not kill a part of his soul.

---

Well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I'm not completely proud of it...it feels to messy. I'll see how I can fix it up in the following chapter. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for the delay! Review!


	11. Photo Negative

Author's Note: Hey everybody

**Author's Note: Hey everybody! I hope you're enjoying the direction the fic is taking; I'll do my best to write a good fight scene. To all you Lemon-tards, well, I was going to put it in later, but I think the time has come for you all to have your perverted desires filled. It's lemon time! At least, towards the end of the chapter… Thanks for all the support!**

Chapter 11: Photo Negatives

Naruto was in deep trouble: he had no idea how he would kill Voodoo without killing Hinata as well. Anything and everything he did to him would be copied to her. He couldn't cut off her hand either; Voodoo would stop him before he could. What on earth was he to do?!

"Shit…Voodoo, I'm going to completely ravage you," he growled menacingly.

Voodoo burst out laughing: cold, bitter laughter, "You have no chance at all you pathetic fool. Unless you wish to end the life of your love, I suggest you submit the power of the Kyuubi to me!"

Voodoo lunged at Naruto, who blocked his onslaught easily enough; he could not counter however, despite being given so many opportunities to do so.

'He's either holding back or he's a bad fighter,' thought Naruto, 'But it doesn't matter because I can't attack him without hurting Hinata-chan…'

Naruto's suddenly turned his attention towards the ground; a strange rune symbol like the one Hinata had on her. He turned his attention to Voodoo, whom had his arms outstretched towards the Genin, the same runes glowing on the palms of his hands. Voodoo smirked and withdrew a short knife from his arm, and then plunged it into his left bicep. Naruto screamed in rage and turned to Hinata immediately; she was acting completely unhurt, however. Naruto looked back to Voodoo, who was smirking happily. Without warning, Naruto felt his left bicep erupt in pain and felt blood spurt from a wound.

"What the hell did you do?!" he yelled in agony.

"I told you, you fool: submit yourself, or I will draw the Kyuubi from your lifeless body! That was my Opposite Doll technique!" spat Voodoo. He raised the knife again and stabbed it into his left thigh. Again, Naruto looked frantically at Hinata, again she was unhurt, again his thigh erupted into pain as blood spurted everywhere.

Hinata looked on helplessly, crying silently: there was absolutely nothing she could see she could do.

Naruto looked back at Voodoo defiantly and started forward, drawing a kunai from his pouch.

"No, no, that's not what you do," smirked Voodoo. He raised his palms again, and a now a new symbol appeared under Naruto.

Inside him, the Kyuubi barked out suddenly, "**MOVE!**" Naruto did so. As he did, he felt the horrifying sensation of his chakra literally moving towards the strange glowing cylinder the rune created. It centered itself after the cylinder dissipated. Naruto felt sick to his stomach; the cylinder could rob him of the Kyuubi's chakra, and in effect, of the Kyuubi.

"Frisky aren't we?" mused Voodoo, as he changed the runes on his palms again to the symbol that allowed him to damage Naruto from afar, "You'll learn…" He pulled out the bloody knife again and plunged it into his side.

Naruto grit his teeth. Blood sprayed out of the side of his stomach. He fell on all fours.

"Submit!" screeched Voodoo. He prepared to try to steal his chakra again.

Hinata had had enough; she wanted to do something and rushed out towards Naruto.

"Hinata! Don't move!" yelled Naruto suddenly at her, "I know what to do."

Voodoo activated the chakra-stealing cylinder again, and again Naruto dodged. He was ten feet away from Voodoo now. "I'm…going…to kill you," he struggled out.

Voodoo again used his Opposite Doll rune again, but at last Naruto was ready. Just before Voodoo plunged the knife into his chest, Naruto threw a kunai. Voodoo's eyes grew wide as he felt the palm that had still been facing Naruto split in two, spraying blood everywhere.

"H-how…did you….find out…my…my…weak…." Was all that Voodoo managed to sputter out, when suddenly, his eyes glossed over, and he fell, dead, blood spilling out of the wound he had created from stabbing himself in the chest.

Naruto fell to the ground again and coughed up blood. Hinata rushed to him, ignoring the burning sensation on her hand as the rune receded away. She looked at Naruto, her eyes streams and spoke to him, "Naruto-kun! Hold on! I'll help you!" She rolled him onto his back and tore off his shirt. She looked at the wound on his side: it was indeed the most severe. She rolled up the shirt and wrapped it around his midsection tightly to help apply pressure on the wound.

Naruto coughed again and looked at Hinata with bleary eyes and a slightly lopsided smile, "Thanks, Hinata-chan. But I'll be fine. I'm a quick healer." Naruto was right; the wound was quickly closing. The wounds on his bicep and thigh had almost already closed by this time. Hinata sniffed and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so glad you're ok, Naruto-kun," she cried into his shoulder, "I thought you'd die."

Naruto, with some effort, patted Hinata on the back, "I can't lose you, Hinata."

"Naruto!" yelled a voice form a distance suddenly. The two ninja turned towards the noise and saw three figures rushing towards them.

"Sakura-chan! Neji! Kakashi-sensei!" yelled out Naruto, "Thank God!"

* * *

Naruto stared out the window of the hospital room. He was always stuck here for several days if he got 'severely' injured on a mission. It was insane. So he passed out several times on the way back to Konoha. Big deal. So his liver was cut open. Big deal. Hinata was safe, and that was all that mattered.

Naruto sighed, "Man, to think, I could be out doing something with you, Hinata."

Hinata giggled and blushed softly, "It's alright Naruto-kun, I don't mind sitting here." Hinata had been visiting Naruto for the past three days he had been in the hospital. He had made it to Konoha in a somewhat stable condition, but was held just in case. He was to be released later that night. Hinata had related the events with as much detail as she could whilst Naruto had been asleep the day they got back. Neji seemed to be the most profoundly affected: he had aloud declared he would cease hounding Naruto, for he had earned a kind of respect that transcended the "older brother" syndrome he had been suffering from.

"Are you sure that rune is gone Hinata?" asked Naruto for the nth time that day.

Hinata sighed and then smiled; he hadn't been able to go for more than an hour without asking that. "Yes, Naruto-kun, it's gone."

"Just want to be safe," said Naruto sheepishly.

"How did you know?" asked Hinata suddenly, remembering a question she had been meaning to ask him.

"Know what?" said Naruto, looking at her blankly.

"That Voodoo could only use one rune at a time?" she continued on.

"Oh, that. Well, I noticed that each time he hurt me, you were ok and that your rune wouldn't glow…Eventually, I put two and two together and realized he was limited to just one rune at a time. So I threw a kunai at his palm when he attempted that chest stab move because…well, that was just a wild, desperate guess. I never would have expected it to cancel the rune, just interrupt his attack" explained Naruto seriously. He said nothing for a moment and then gave Hinata his trademark grin, "Lucky though, huh?"

Hinata smiled at him, "Yes, it was."

"Good job Naruto, you thought for once," said a familiar voice from the doorway. It was Sakura.

"Hey! I have other thoughts!" said Naruto defiantly.

"Right," joked Sakura, "Keep telling yourself that." She smiled at him. "You're free to go now. The nurses figure you'd just escape anyway."

Naruto gave a whoop and jumped out of bed. He ran into the bathroom, changed and was back out in a few moments. "So, what should we do!?" he asked ecstatically.

Hinata blushed. A very dirty thought had entered her mind. Ero-Hina stepped out from the shadows of her brain. "Hello Hinata, long time, no see," she purred with a malicious smirk on her face.

"Eep!" replied Hinata, "I…I thought you were gone!"

"I'm only gone as long as you're…_fulfilled,_" said Ero-Hina, "And, as you can guess…you aren't."

"H-how do you know that?" squeaked Hinata.

"I'm a part of your psyche, remember?" smirked Ero-Hina, "And it's come to my attention that fingers just aren't…ah…_satisfying_ enough anymore…" She paced around Hinata as she spoke, her voice a barely audible whisper. The strain from trying to hear her voice was making Hinata very…_hot_ in a certain place. She couldn't believe she was seducing herself.

Ero-Hina stopped behind Hinata and placed one of her hands on one of Hinata's breasts and stroked the her crotch with her other free hand softly. She whispered so softly now, Hinata could feel her ears straining and the hairs on her neck standing up, "You want something more…don't deny it. Something longer…" She slid her hand into Hinata's pants and under her panties and sharply tapped her clitoris. Hinata had to make a concerted effort to not cry out in pleasure. "Harder…" She tapped again with more force; Hinata let out a whimper. "More…_manly_." As Ero-Hina said this, she pinched Hinata's clitoris softly with her nails. Hinata just barely suppressed a scream.

Suddenly, she was shaken out of her dream state.

"Hinata-chan!" called out Naruto, shaking his girlfriend concernedly, "You ok?"

"H-hai, N-N-N-Naruto-kun," said Hinata, her face a hue of red never seen before.

"We're having a picnic just outside the gates, by a stream in half-an-hour. You feeling ok?" asked Naruto, placing his hand on her forehead.

"H-hai, I just…have to…get something…from…from…h-home," she stuttered out.

"Ok! I'll go with you!" said Naruto happily.

Hinata did not want this; she need to go home, to get something yes, but it wasn't physical…it was more…well it was physically. Carnal, but physical.

"Ah, b-but, Naruto-kun," stuttered out Hinata. It was no use, he was already pulling her towards her house, calling towards Sakura that he'd meet her outside the gates.

* * *

Hinata and Naruto walked into Hinata's room. Hinata turned towards Naruto, trembling slightly and told him, "I need to use the bathroom…I'll be right out."

Naruto nodded and Hinata went in and locked the door. She felt like she was going to explode. She pulled off her pants and panties (now so saturated that it was a wonder her pants weren't in the same state). She started rubbing her clitoris vigorously and worked an arm under her shirt to tease her nipple. She felt her legs give out as she began thrusting her fingers in and out of her slippery opening. She took her shirt off as she felt the heat of her body become too much to bear and fell down onto the bathroom floor, her rear in the air, masturbating at full speed. She thought of how she had her breasts pressed on the floor, of how her juices were running in streams down her legs. Then she thought about how Naruto was standing just outside the door, waiting patiently for her to finish. She wished she hadn't as soon as the thought crossed her mind; the thought drove her over the edge. She felt the orgasm shoot throughout her entire body, arcing through her like electricity. She couldn't help it, she moaned out at the top of her lungs in pure ecstasy, "Ah…ah! Naruto!" She felt her entire body slick with sweat.

Outside, Naruto heard the moan, which, in his usual density he took as a scream and rushed into the bathroom, knocking the door off its hinges. The sight that greeted him drove his penis into an erection so quickly he felt it might have shot off his body if not attached to him. "Hi-Hinata-chan!" said Naruto incredulously.

Hinata rolled onto her back and looked up at Naruto through one closed eye and spread her lips open. Hinata could feel herself drooling; her mind was completely gone now. All those years of watching Naruto from afar had pent up her sexual energy to terrifying levels. Naruto stared down at Hinata for a moment. His brain was busy trying to understand what was lying before him.

"**What are you doing Kit? Do you want her to hold up a sign?" **purred the Kyuubi,** "Mate with her."**

Naruto made a vague sound of affirmation and removed his clothing in an almost trancelike state. All of it was happening so quickly it was still being processed. He knelt down in front of Hinata and positioned himself in front of her entrance. He looked up at Hinata with a dumbfounded look and mumbled, "Are you sure?"

Hinata couldn't take it anymore. She wrapped her legs around Naruto's back and pulled him towards her, his members slamming into her at full force. She screamed in pleasure as she felt her hymen tear and Naruto's girth fill her. She didn't care that it had hurt for him to enter her; the sex craze had reached that deep a level.

Naruto was still applying the new settings to his brain and began to thrust almost absentmindedly. Suddenly, it hit him: he was making love to Hinata. He bent over her and kissed her fiercely, picking up the pace, his speed increasing with each thrust. Hinata moaned through the kiss and wrapped her legs tighter around Naruto's midsection. She constricted her walls around his member. Now it was Naruto's turn to moan.

"Hinata! Please, don't do that too much!" grunted Naruto. Hinata kissed Naruto again, clawing at his back as the pleasure gripped her body like a vice. Naruto felt soft trickles of blood run down his back. Oddly, it made the situation seem only more erotic.

Hinata suddenly pushed Naruto back and onto the floor and mounted him, groaning audibly as she slid up and down his wet length. Naruto reached up and began massaging her breasts as Hinata reached down to rub her clit.

After a few minutes, Naruto had an idea and lifted Hinata off him. He turned her around entered her from behind, pressing himself onto her back and biting her neck, then licking. Hinata threw he head back and moaned and fell onto the wall, supporting herself with her arms. Naruto put one his hands on her hips and began drawing firm, fast circles on her clit. Hinata felt her body begin to seize up. She was going to climax soon, and she knew there was no way to hold it back. She began thrusting back at Naruto with more and more force. All the while, Naruto became all the more weary that his limit had been surpassed and he could hold himself back for only a few seconds longer.

"Hinata! F-fuck, I'm gonna cum!" groaned out Naruto. His thrusts became irregular. He felt himself climax and his movements became even more erratic. He added a final thrust that was so powerful Hinata swore she could have felt he stomach catch in her throat. This last lunge pushed her beyond her limits. She screamed out uncontrollably, her vagina clasping itself down onto Naruto's member without mercy, "Naruto-kun…ah…shit!"

Naruto felt a second release and made a minute mental note in the back of his head, 'I've never heard her swear. She must have REALLY liked this.'

The two lovers remained in their positions a few moments longer, both panting heavily, covered in a thick layer of sweat and fluids. Naruto removed himself and collapsed backwards onto the floor, landing on his buttocks. Hinata did the same and laid herself on his chest. The smell of sex coming off of them was overwhelming. The pair said nothing for a few moments, both reveling in what they had just done.

A loud knock suddenly issued from Hinata's bedroom door. "Hinata!? Are you in there!? The picnic started fifteen minutes ago!" It was Neji.

Naruto gulped. "H-he won't spy on us…r-right?" he squeaked.

Hinata gave an enticing giggle. "He won't Naruto-kun," she said silkily.

Naruto felt a shiver run down his spine. She had said that flawlessly. Hinata felt something poke the small of her back. Her face split into a lustful smile. "There _is_ a picnic to go to, you know that, right?"

"My penis never agrees with me," said Naruto sheepishly.

"Let's have sex in the woods," said Hinata suddenly.

"What!?" yelled Naruto incredulously.

* * *

The two showered quickly; too quickly. They noticed a familiar smell begin to greet their nostrils as they sprinted off to the picnic.

"You think they'll notice?" asked Hinata in slight panic; after leaving her the Hyuuga estate, her confidence had withered rather noticeably. She kept replaying the scene in her head; her panties were almost in the same state they were when she first entered the bathroom.

'I can't stop thinking about it!' she squealed in her head. Ero-Hina laughed happily to herself. Her work here was done. She lit a cigarette and retreated to the recesses of Hinata's mind. Naruto's voice brought her back to reality.

"Kiba, Sakura and Ino will," said Naruto honestly, looking a bit worried, "Kiba smells everything; Sakura and Ino will instantly know that us being late means something juicy happened. Just tell them the truth."

Hinata nodded. "Naruto, are you ok…with…with what I did?" asked Hinata, stopping in front of the gates.

Naruto looked at Hinata's troubled expression. He walked over to her and kissed her gently on the lips. "If I had to make love to anyone in that way…" Naruto blushed as he recounted the circumstances, "It'd be no one other than you." He smiled at her, took her hand and the two set off again for the picnic. Inwardly, Hinata beamed. She had desperately needed to hear that. She was also glad that she was now free to relieve herself BEFORE she entered her sex-crazed mode.

The couple arrived at the hill where the picnic was being held to find everyone there, enjoying themselves. Sakura and Ino took one look and Hinata and immediately knew what had happened; they rushed over towards her and pulled her off down the hill to talk about it, giggling gleefully. Naruto didn't really have to react either: Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru were on him so quickly.

Kiba spoke first, grinning at Naruto, "Alright. What happened? Don't deny it either; I can smell you from a mile away."

Naruto knew he was caught. He looked at the ground, grinning guiltily and explained.

After he recounted the story all three nin's jaws had dropped. Even Shikamaru's.

"S-she actually said 'shit'!?" said Kiba incredulously.

"Yeah! She did!" said Naruto seriously.

"Hinata never curses. Ever. EVER," said Kiba in a daze.

"Hn. Good job Naruto," said Shikamaru, patting him on the shoulder.

Chouji munched away at his potato chips, "Yeah, nice job."

Neji walked over nonchalantly. "Hey guys! What's going on here?" he asked.

Naruto felt as if a brick dropped into his stomach. "H-hi, N-N-N-Neji…" he stuttered out.

"You don't have to act so nervous Naruto," said Neji, studying the blond with a raised eyebrow, "I head everything."

Naruto threw his arms up in defense. But no attack came. "R-really?" he managed.

"The noise she was making, I could tell she would have all but raped you if you didn't…give it…to her," mumbled Neji.

Naruto froze. "How loud was she?" he asked in a deadly whisper. He was trembling.

"Just loud enough for me to hear," said Neji calmly, "Hiashi-sama is none the wiser."

Naruto exhaled. "Thank God," he said.

"Naruto, you showed Hinata a devotion that is rarely seen," said Neji suddenly, "I can't possibly be angry with you when you've already proven your love for her is unshakeable." He smirked ever so slightly and then said, "Anyway, let's go get the girls. I'm getting rather hungry and Hinata's probably told them everything from how it was to whether or not the carpet matches the drapes."

Naruto looked stunned. Neji was ok with what he had done. Not only that, he just cracked a joke.

"Who are you and what have you done with Neji?" he said, confused.

"Ask Tenten," was Neji's reply.

* * *

The kunoichi were having a delightful time listening to Hinata's tale. The giggling was almost nonstop.

"And…then…he picked me up and pressed me against the wall…" mumbled out Hinata, pressing her index fingers together as her face dropped closer and closer into the infrared spectrum.

"Wow Hinata. I didn't know you liked it rough…" said Ino gleefully.

"No, it's just…" began Hinata. She couldn't go on. She _did_ like it rough. Being quiet seemed to have that effect on her.

"What happened next?" asked Temari.

"Um, we showered…and…we…got a little carried away washing each other…" squeaked out Hinata.

The kunoichi giggled again.

"Hey, the guys are coming back," said Tenten, pointing them out.

"Hey! Are we gonna eat or what?" asked Naruto. He stopped suddenly. All the girls seemed to be looking at him with an expression that said: "She told us everything. We're going to torture you with this information."

Naruto sweat-dropped and looked down at Hinata, who's face moved just a tiny bit closer towards infrared.

* * *

The picnic went by nicely enough, but Naruto and Hinata had trouble talking to one another. A strange funk lay in the air between them; things seemed ethereal. Nonetheless, the nin were enjoying dessert when a few choice acquaintances dropped by: Kakashi and Jiraiya.

"Naruto!" said Jiraiya suddenly. He grabbed the boy and brought him into a friendly chokehold. "We heard you at the gate! Sly little bastard aren't we!" Jiraiya laughed genially. Naruto was turning slightly blue and sputtered out, "Air! Ero-sannin! Air!"

Jiraiya released Naruto and looked at him. "Nah, you're still a kid," chuckled Jiraiya.

Kakashi spoke mildly, "Nice Naruto, you didn't need any of my _Icha Icha_ books."

"Were you guys eavesdropping!?" asked Naruto, outraged.

"We were walking by, you idiot," said Jiraiya plainly, thumping him on the head.

"What!?" yelled Naruto.

"Yep," said Kakashi, reading his perverted orange book.

Naruto sighed. "You guys told Obaa-chan did you?"

On cue, Tsunade poofed into view. "Naruto," she said, looking at him with an unexplainable look, "I hope you knew what you were doing. And I hope you two perverts only _overheard_ them and didn't _see_ them." Tsunade pointed at Kakashi and Jiraiya.

"Lay off Tsunade," said Jiraiya, "If we had seen them, I'd be halfway done with the latest _Icha Icha_ novel."

A vein popped into Tsunade's forehead, "Let's leave them be."

The two perverts reluctantly poofed away. Tsunade looked at Naruto and Hinata and gave them a small smile, "At least it was you two." Naruto and Hinata thanked Tsunade somewhat awkwardly before she poofed away.

"Well, now that the Obaa-chan knows, its only a matter of time before everyone else does," said Naruto.

"Why, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata, mortified.

"You haven't seen her drunk, have you?" said Naruto grimly.

* * *

The rest of the picnic went by smoothly and soon, everyone was saying good-bye, stars clear and bright in the sky.

Naruto and Hinata remained alone on the hill staring at the moon. Suddenly, Hinata grabbed Naruto's hand and led him to a heavily wooded area. Naruto felt his pants being pulled down and a warm wetness engulf his member as it rose to the motions of Hinata's tongue.

Naruto looked down at Hinata and asked her a question he'd been meaning to ask, "What's gotten into you, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata looked up at him, his length in her mouth. She removed her mouth, a small string of saliva trailing from her lower lip to the head of his member. "You did, Naruto-kun," she said simply. She licked the side of his length. "Quite literally."

And the rejoicing began once again.

* * *

ZOMG. The lemon! It's done! It's been written! I hope you guy's enjoyed it. I like ending on puns, though originally I intended to reference Lee and Gai. Meh. Review this please! I know you want to! Its full of lemony goodness! Over and out! Lorn


	12. Multiple Shot Mode

A/N: Sorry everyone, this is probably the last chapter. I've run dry of ideas. Let's hope this comes out good! (Sniffle, Hinata gave me quite a scare for a while.)

Chapter 12: Multiple Shot Mode

Naruto stumbled out of the woods a frantic and sweaty hour and a half later, Hinata in tow.

"Oh wow," he sputtered out between breaths, "Didn't think it'd ever come to this point with you."

Hinata blushed deeply; she was surprised at her own daring. "Me…me neither," she said softly.

The blond Genin smiled at his girlfriend and pulled her along by the hand back towards the village. He gave a perverted grin and looked back at Hinata. "I'm not complaining though," he said, "And I wouldn't complain if it happened more often."

Hinata felt herself waver in and out of consciousness very rapidly. "A-a-ah…I-I…" the lavender-eyed kunoichi began to mumble, "U-u-um…" She trailed off when she realized she could not find words to express her thoughts, which were, understandably, a resounding "YES".

Naruto chuckled at her flustered reaction and picked up his pace. "You don't have to answer," he said. Hinata nodded with relief. The two walked in relative silence back into the village, the streets were fairly empty; only a few late-night workers were seen walking about. Naruto pulled Hinata along the path towards her house but suddenly felt resistance. He looked back at her and saw her standing, almost defiantly, looking at the ground and blushing softly. "Um, is something wrong, Hinata?" he asked.

"I…I was just…wondering if…I-I c-could just stay at y-your house…tonight…" she said with some difficulty.

Naruto looked at the ground for a second, lost in thought. He had no problem with it; he simply didn't know how Hiashi would react to this. "I'm perfectly ok with it Hinata," he began, "I just don't know how Hiashi will react to it."

"I'll tell him; I need to pass by to get some stuff before I head over to Tenten's anyway," said a voice from behind. It was Neji, with Tenten at his side.

Naruto thanked Neji. "That'd be really helpful," he said. Hinata thanked her cousin as well.

"Don't worry about it," said Neji simply, "I'll see you guys later." He and Tenten walked off.

Naruto turned around and walked off with Hinata back to his house. "That was nice of Neji," he said happily.

"It's good that he's stopped trying to kill you too," said Hinata, smiling.

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, that's definitely good too," he said. The two arrived at Naruto's house and plopped onto his bed without changing. Naruto yawned. "Jeez, I'm tired," he said sleepily.

Hinata giggled and kissed him softly. "I can only imagine why," she said, blushing a bit.

Naruto blushed back. "You're unpredictable, you know that?" he said, smiling.

Hinata moved closer to Naruto and hugged him, resting her head in the familiar spot on his chest. She felt more comfortable here and felt herself becoming sleepier and sleepier. Naruto smiled softly and hugged Hinata back, resting his head on his own favorite place, the crown of her head. Within a few minutes both of them had fallen asleep.

---

Hiashi sat in his study, working quietly when Neji came in to inform him what Hinata had done. Hiashi nodded and continued working. Neji gave a slight smirk at the Hyuuga head. "No fight Hiashi-sama?" he asked, a bit intrigued.

Hiashi looked up and gave almost a soft smile. "That boy has saved her life at great risk to his own," he explained, "To be so restrictive and commanding when he has shown such respect for her would be careless paranoia."

Neji smiled. He could remember his own careless paranoia. He bowed and left the room. "Let's go Tenten," he said simply. Tenten nodded and smirked at him.

"That went well," she said airily.

"Hey, if I can learn," said Neji, "He most certainly can." Tenten chuckled.

---

The day rose gray and cloudy. (A/N: I love days like these) Naruto frowned a bit. It had been cloudless the day before; now it was cool, with the smell of coming rain in the air. He yawned and stretched a bit and looked down to see Hinata still lying against his chest. He smiled softly; he had to shower but didn't want to wake her. He continued to lie there, wondering they should do for the day. He couldn't help thinking that some event was supposed to occur during the day. For a few more minutes he furiously contemplated what he could do with Hinata, which unfortunately led to increasingly dirtier thoughts. He stopped thinking and blushed deeply.

'Jeez, I've been hanging out with Jiraiya too much,' he thought to himself.

Hinata stirred suddenly and looked up to Naruto sleepily. She felt something poking her thigh. She smiled and blushed a bit and said, "Naruto-kun, you've been with Jiraiya-sama too much."

Naruto began laughing and relaxed a bit, "That's what I was thinking before you woke up."

Hinata kissed Naruto and got out of bed and wandered over to the bathroom.

Naruto smiled and then realized that she had stolen his idea. "Hey! I was gonna shower!" he called to her in mock anger.

Hinata opened the door a bit and poked her head out with a tempting look in her eyes. "You can join me if you like, Naruto-kun," she said seductively.

Naruto shivered with joy. "You have something like an on/off switch don't you?" he joked back. Before he could start towards the bathroom however, a knock came from the front door. "Eh…I better answer that. You enjoy your shower," he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Hinata nodded, a bit disappointed to; she didn't tell Naruto, but she had woken up a bit aroused as well.

Naruto walked over to the front door and opened it. "Oh, Sakura-chan! Whatcha doin' over here so early?" he said to the pink-haired nin.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You didn't forget that there's a village wide scavenger hunt today, did you?" she asked the forgetful blond.

"Well, if I say I did, will you be angry?" he asked tentatively.

Sakura chuckled. "It's too early to be angry," she said, "You got off lucky. Anyway, Tsunade told us that we had to participate to encourage other ninja in our age group to join."

Naruto nodded. "What time then?"

"Uh, in about fifteen minutes actually," said Sakura.

Hinata chose this moment to come out, wearing a damp white t-shirt that excellently showed off her figure (and then some) and a pair of white panties, drying her hair innocently. "What's in fifteen minutes, Naruto-kun?" she started before noticing Sakura. "Oh, hi, Sakura-chan!" Hinata smiled at her.

Naruto felt scared. "Ah…Sakura, don't get the wrong idea," he said with growing fear in his voice.

A vein in Sakura's forehead throbbed slightly. "Eh…I'm just not going to ask," she said with some trouble. "Fifteen minutes Naruto." She stopped. "See you there, Hinata," she added more easily.

Naruto breathed out. He thanked Sakura and closed the door. "Alright, I completely forgot. Guess we better go to that, huh, Hinata?" he asked.

Hinata nodded and continued to towel of her hair. "Yeah, we probably should," she said.

Naruto nodded and told Hinata he was going to go shower.

---

The couple walked casually towards the Hokage's tower to receive their instructions for the scavenger hunt. After a short while they met up with Shikamaru, Temari, Neji and Tenten who no doubt had the same objective in mind. The group talked casually for a while and entered the tower. They were allowed immediately to head to the Hokage's office.

Tsunade was finishing some paperwork and looked up at the group of nin. "Ah, you've arrived. Excellent. And Naruto, you're actually on time for once!" she joked.

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "I can be on time when I want to."

"Only if Sakura threatens you," Tsunade remarked knowingly. She cleared her throat, collected the papers on her desk and sat up. "As you all know, the village wide scavenger hunt is today and I do believe Sakura had told you that your participation was encouraged."

The nin before her nodded.

"Be that as it may, there has also been a slight snag in the set-up—we have far more older Jonin out on missions today than was expected and therefore I need all of you to distribute and hide the items the participants will be looking for," concluded the Hokage.

"What the hell's the point in participating then Obaa-san?" blurted out Naruto.

Tsunade's temple pulsed once; she snapped back, "Show some respect Naruto! You'll only be responsible for a handful of items; you can still find the items your friends and the available ninja have hidden. Keep in mind that some items should be easily accessible for Genin, some for Chuunin and a few for Jonin." She looked at the entire group before her for any hint of confusion.

Naruto gave a start. "Wait, so…we have to hide these items with jutsu?"

Sakura replied this time. "Of course _baka_, what'd you expect? Were you going to hide the items behind lamp posts or crates or something?"

Naruto mumbled something indistinct and said no more.

Tsunade smirked slightly and then said authoritatively, "If you have no further questions, you have one hour to hide the items on the list you'll be given on your way out. When you have finished hiding the items you were assigned meet in the center of the village for your scavenger list."

The nin bowed and left the room. Naruto grumbled audibly as he left.

---

Naruto found it easy enough to hide items from the Genin, but the Chuunin and Jonin level items that had to be hidden were proving more difficult than he expected.

"What the hell Obaa-san?" he murmured, disgruntled, "How am I supposed to hide this crap?"

He had hidden the Genin level items (a simple kunai, a potted plant and a box of mushrooms) in places that some focus, physical training and a rudimentary understanding of Genjutsu could quickly reveal. When it came to Chuunin level items however, (an empty ramen bowl, a small, broken television and a bottle of scented lotion) Naruto had a bit more difficulty.

"Hmm, well," he said to himself, "Maybe if I swap the light bulb with the lotion bottle and use Genjutsu to make it seem like the lotion is actually the bulb…" He smiled. "Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea!" He climbed the pole and unscrewed the bulb and then disguised the lotion as the bulb. He then screwed the lotion back into the socket. "Alright, this'll work perfectly," he remarked, immensely pleased with himself.

---

When the items had all been hidden away, Tsunade gave the participants a list of items to be found. Finding items and returning them to the center of town allowed participants to earn prizes, most of which none of the nin whom had hidden away the items found particularly stimulating, apart from one item that so blatantly existed so the older nin would participate it might as well have had a flashing arrow above it: a trip to a world-class hot spring resort.

Soft murmuring rippled through Naruto's group of friends: the trip allowed for one guest. Naruto didn't see what the big deal was.

"I don't get it," he said to Hinata, who was only half-listening, "There's a hot spring here. Why would you want to go to a resort? It sounds like it just adds fluff that gets in the way." When Hinata gave a less than stimulating answer ("Perhaps") Naruto turned his attention to Shikamaru, whom he was sure would share the same sentiment.

"It would just get in the way, but as troublesome as it is," replied Shikamaru to Naruto's remark, (he looked around to make sure no one was listening), "Temari will kill me if I just laze around. Naruto grinned sheepishly. 'So much for male dominance,' he thought.

Nearby, Naruto could hear Rock Lee professing his desire to take Sakura with him, who actually seemed somewhat interested for once. She had expected Lee to say this, but the fact that he had decided on her and not Gai-sensei made a difference. And it _was_ a world-class resort. Gai seemed totally unperturbed by this decision, as he had his own ideas in mind.

"Kakashi! What could be a better place to have a rematch than that resort? After a hard day's challenges and losses, you could relax in the hot spring!" he said loudly to the broom-headed Jonin.

"Uh, right. Whatever you say," said Kakashi a bit embarrassedly, looking up a fraction from his usual dirty novel.

The lists were finished being handed out and Tsunade announced the start of the hunt. The contestants ran, jumped and poofed away in different directions. Naruto ran towards the restaurant district of the village, where the large amounts of clutter seemed to be perfect locations for items. He regarded his list, which read:

NOTE: Any nin that helped hide items are forbidden to recover said items lest they be ejected from the hunt. Please locate the following:

~Purple, deflated soccer ball

~A pair of bright orange panties with the character for "evil" written on the rear…

Naruto looked up from the list. There were dozens of items to find, not counting the nine he had hidden away. "Why orange panties though?" he said aloud. A voice next to him chuckled. Naruto looked to his right: it was Gaara, of all people.

"Gaara?" asked Naruto.

"I hid those, interestingly enough," the sand nin explained.

"How?" asked Naruto incredulously.

"Oh, they'll turn up," he responded cryptically. He ran off in another direction.

Naruto kept running, more confused than ever.

---

It turned out, or so Naruto thought, that the other nin didn't want to hide the objects as much as he had wanted to. Most of them hadn't even disguised them, just placed them amongst more of their kind or in hard-to-reach places. He had found, among several other items, the panties Gaara had hidden when Kakashi showed up, walking out of a small restaurant, still reading. They had been hidden on the back of Kakashi's left shoulder and disguised as simply the symbol for evil.

This turn of events dissolved into an interesting situation which had Naruto stalking Kakashi for over fifteen minutes, trying to get close enough to dash forward, tear the delicate off and poof away before Kakashi could react. It had failed, of course and Kakashi had caught Naruto and almost hurt him, thinking him to be an assailant.

"Naruto? The hell are you doing?" he asked, dangling the blonde idiot by his foot.

"YOU'VE GOT WOMEN'S DELICATES ON YOUR SHOULDER!" shouted Naruto in frustration at having failed a simple sneaking mission.

Kakashi patted his back and felt nothing. Naruto worked himself loose, turned his dense teacher around and tore the panties off his back. He spun Kakashi back around and brandished the unmentionables in front of his face. 'YOU SEE?" he said loudly. At this time, a group of girls had chosen to walk by and take in the scene of Naruto waving orange underwear in front of Kakashi and began laughing and hurling invectives at the two. Naruto gave a groan of annoyance and ran off, leaving his teacher utterly confused.

---

Meanwhile, Sakura had taken to finding Naruto's items, as they would most likely be the most obvious. This was not the case. She had found an inexcusably large amount of pathetically hidden items, but none were on the list Naruto had been given.

"Wow, it looks like that _baka _actually tried to hide the items well," she said to herself, a bit impressed.

---

Neji and Hinata were barred from using their Byakugan in the hunt, and it proved to be taking its toll. Neji was an excellent ninja and adept at sensing chakra signatures even without the bloodline trait, but because so many items were hidden without chakra, it was like finding a needle in a haystack.

He couldn't get too angry though, as he had decided to simply put items in hard to reach places that required physical skill more than anything. "Damn it. Didn't ANYONE use chakra?" he cursed aloud. Suddenly, he noticed something. The light post was emitting the faintest signal of chakra. He grinned to himself. Someone had after all. He looked up at the post and saw the light bulb. It was the source of chakra. Perfect. However, night had fallen, and the light posts turned on by schedule at a certain time.

Now was that time. The light post sent a surge of electricity into the socket, and as poor a conductor of electricity that plastic is, the sheer amount of it burst the bottle, shattering the Genjutsu and leaving Neji to contend with a slippery, lilac-smelling mess, most of which had taken residence upon his face and chest.

---

Rock Lee seemed to have been the most competent for this scavenger hunt, what with the items being hidden in places his amazing stamina allowed him access to, but Lee was a tirelessly predictable man: a good-natured, determined man, but a predictable one nonetheless. After finding three items hidden high atop the streets on roofs, he expected the remaining items would be hidden cleverly with chakra-based jutsu and took to carefully examining and overturning every possible item that could have been disguised as something else. He found nothing in this manner.

---

At roughly eleven o'clock, the hunt was nearing its end: the easy and medium items were found very easily by the less experienced Genin and Chuunin, and only the Jonin-rank items remained to be found, but because they were hidden away in places only the hider would have expected to find them, very few of them had been found. Naruto returned to the center of the village to find a rather depressed party waiting for him. No one had found more than four items, and half of the people had used their significant other as a source to find the items they had hidden. Kakashi hadn't found anything at all and looked damned proud.

"Actually, I found about twenty items trying to get away from the other scavengers," he said to a stunned group of nin, "But I'm not exactly interested in going to a hot spring resort, and even less interested in having Gai pester me until I invite him."

Naruto dumped the items he had found into the basket with his name on it. He had found eleven items, half by luck, the other half by…actually, he had found everything with luck. While running around trying to escape the giggling girls who continuously called him a pervert, he had taken to using roofs and other places off the beaten path to navigate the town and in doing so found many of the items Kakashi had passed up.

He turned back to the group and surveyed them imperiously; "Almost none of you hid your items in creative ways! The most creative I found were panties on Kakashi's shoulder! What the heck? Why didn't you get creative?"

Neji took this opportunity to speak, his face covered in lotion. "That is because when you hide things in light sockets, they explode."

The group of nin burst into laughter, drowning out Naruto's sincere apology.

Tsunade quieted the nin and began to speak. "Well, seeing as Naruto found the most items, and from what I've heard, the only person who actually tried to hide the items, he and one guest get to head off to the resort."

The group of nin mumbled congratulations to Naruto, but remained too absorbed in their self-loathing to say much else. Naruto put his arm around Hinata and whispered something into her ear that made her go beet-red, but nod vigorously. The only words any nin near-by could catch was: mixed bath…public indecency…good thrill.

"Naruto-kun, a hot spring resort is meant for relaxation," said Hinata nervously.

"That's for when you're older. When we're through with this vacation, you're going to need another, and probably bed rest, because we sure as hell won't be using a mattress for rest," said Naruto mischievously. Hinata blushed bright red again and gave a small nod and indulgent smile.


End file.
